De Pelle Sorte
by horseaholic
Summary: Title means One of a Kind in French. Roger meets a French model on the street and falls in love with her. But the death of one of their own turns his, and everyone else's, world upside down. RogerOC. EVENTUAL MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH!
1. On The Street

Standard disclaimers apply. The characters I own are Elise Camille Ansell, Dominic Messer, Chris Messer, and Sophia Louise Campbell. Everyone else clearly belongs to Jonathan Larson and affiliates. I only wish I owned everything else.

I've been working on this story for a while, several weeks. I know the idea is similar to something some stories have already done, but my reasoning for doing such a plot is entirely different (and will be found out several chapters from now). The story is almost completely written and ready to post, I only have the epilogue left to write, but I figured I'd post just the first chapter to see if people like it. I'm planning on posting a chapter a week.

Just to let everyone know, when I first started this story, I didn't really know where I was going to go with it. I had some ideas, but no connections, no way to get to where I wanted to go. But then life changed a little and I realized how I wanted it to end. So I'm warning you: there WILL be a major character death! It won't be who you think it will be, though, and it will not happen how you expect it to.

That's about all from me, I guess. Here is chapter 1 of "De pelle sorte". "De pelle sorte" means "One of a kind" in French, according to my friend, Silvia, who is from France, just so you guys know.

* * *

**De Pelle Sorte**

**Chapter One - On The Street**

As Roger walked down the street from Washington Square Park in New York City, his mind raced. He thought about his most recent gig and how an agent had come up to him after, asking if he would like to record demos of his songs for a possible CD. Today's mid-January day was cold, but Roger didn't care. He often played for hours in the cold, as bundled up in warm layers as he could be, because he loved his music more than food. Roger was thrilled and was on his way back to the loft to tell Mark and Collins. Maureen and Joanne were residing in San Francisco; they had moved there once Mimi had moved down to Mexico come New Year's, and they were now wanting to get married and start a family, adoption or otherwise.

Roger forgot to watch where he was going, then felt a little body run into him. Looking down, he saw a little boy, no older than three, had slipped on the ice, fallen, and collided with him.

"Oh," he said, "hey there. Are you lost, little guy?" He helped the boy up, then squatted down to be at his eye level.

"No, just faster than Mommy," the little boy said, grinning mischievously.

Roger laughed. "Is your mom coming?" he asked, looking around.

"Yes, she is," said a voice from above Roger and the little boy. Roger looked up. She took the little boy's hand, turned him around, and started scolding him. "Dominic Christopher, you know better than to run away from Mommy in the city. Why'd you run, huh?"

Dominic had the grace to look ashamed of himself. "I'm sorry, Mommy," he said. "I was just trying to have some fun. I'm bored."

"Well, it's cold and icy out, so Mommy doesn't think it's fun, running after you in the big city, honey," the woman said to Dominic, "so please don't do it anymore, OK? We just left to get some lunch, then Mommy has to get you back to daycare and herself back to work and I'll pick you up from Sophia this afternoon."

"Mommy, I wanna go to work with you," Dominic whined.

"Maybe when you're older, sweetie, then I can talk to Anthony and maybe he'll let you shoot with me, OK?" the woman said.

"When I'm older, when?" Dominic asked. "How old do I have to be first?"

"Let's say you turn four first, OK?" the woman asked him, trying not to sound exasperated.

Dominic sighed. "OK," he said.

"Good. Now let's go, please," the woman said.

Roger was so caught up in the mother-son conversation that he only just now noticed how beautiful the woman was. She was tall, about five-eight, slender, with stick-straight auburn hair that trailed down her back and brilliantly green eyes.

"Hey, wait, um," he stammered. She gave him a resolute look. She was obviously flustered and needed to be on her way. "Sorry, um... I'm Roger, by the way."

"I'm Elise," she said, taking Dominic's hand. "Elise Ansell."

Roger nodded, then Elise turned and left with Dominic. "Bye," he said, and his voice trailed off to a whisper, "Elise."

Roger spun on his heel and walked quickly back to the loft. The mid-January wind was biting at his cheeks and he was getting cold. But he couldn't wait to tell Mark whom he'd met.

* * *

"So you just ran into this model on the street and introduced yourself?" Mark asked, trying to clarify, since Roger had flown through the story faster than he could keep up.

"No," Roger said, rolling his eyes. "Her _son_ ran into me and she came after him and I introduced myself then."

Mark nodded. "Ah, I see," he said. "What's her name?"

"Elise Ansell," Roger said.

"Oh, her?" Mark asked, surprised.

Roger was confused. "What?" he asked.

"Well, I know her," Mark said. "I work with her... unofficially. Sometimes I photograph her and submit the pictures to Ralph Lauren and they pay me."

Roger's mouth fell open. "Oh, my God, I just got jealous. Mark, why didn't you tell me?" he asked. "You're so lucky. She's so beautiful." He smiled dreamily. "She's got these eyes and this— this hair. Wow... Oh yeah, and her smile?" He sighed. "She's one of a kind, Mark."

Mark smiled. "Well, hopefully you'll see her again," he said. "If I'm ever photographing her in the future, I'll let you know and you can come to work with me. It's just work with me, I'm not involved with her."

"I'd love that," Roger said.

Mark laughed. He could already tell his best friend was falling fast for Elise.

Roger looked excitedly at Mark. "Hey, you are not gonna believe what else happened to me today."

"What?" Mark asked.

"A recording artist came up to me and asked if I'd like to record demos of my songs for a CD," Roger said.

Mark's mouth fell open. "Wow, Roger, that's amazing," he said. He went over and hugged Roger. "Congratulations. I'm happy for you."

"Thanks, man," Roger said. "I can't wait to tell Collins and Maureen and Joanne."

Mark nodded. "Roger Davis, first Washington Square Park, next Madison Square Garden," he said.

Roger grinned. "One can only hope," he said. "Come on, let's call Collins and get together and hang out. We should tell Mo and Jo, too, see how they're doing in San Francisco."

Mark nodded and they both went to the phone to make the calls.

* * *

_So we begin. This is the end of chapter 1. I hope you guys like it so far. Remember, Mark only works with Elise unofficially. He does make money when he works with her, but he doesn't work directly with Ralph Lauren, it's through his own private film and photography business that all got started with 'Today 4 U: Proof Positive'. The story begins in January 1991. Just thought I'd clarify that. Don't forget to review. I'm both excited and nervous about how this story will be received. Thank you kindly for reading._


	2. Fascination

I want to thank my beta and Renthead partner-in-crime, katetastic, for the Roger/Mimi conversation later in this chapter. Thanks, chica, you rock! Here is chapter 2. Enjoy.

* * *

**Chapter Two - Fascination**

A week later, Roger woke up at about ten, got dressed, and read the Village Voice while drinking his morning coffee. He flipped to the back of the paper, skipping over the Billboard and various music parts, and stopped when he came upon a Ralph Lauren ad. The model instantly caught his eye.

It was Elise, wearing jeans and a white camisole, lying against the graceful, strong neck of a dapple grey horse, her hair blending in with its mane.

Roger's heart skipped a few beats. Lightheaded, he leaned forward, his head almost between his legs, and took several deep breaths, trying to steady his heart.

Mark walked into the kitchen, having been out filming all morning.

"What's up with you?" he asked Roger.

Roger couldn't say anything; his chest was too tight for air. He simply slid the magazine silently across the table at Mark. Mark put away his camera and equipment and looked down at the magazine. Then he looked back at Roger.

"Oh yeah," he said, "um, I didn't take this. If I did, I would have told you." Roger nodded mutely. Mark looked at him, concerned. "You gonna be OK?" he asked. Roger nodded again. "You know, if you like her, you should just ask her out."

Roger shook his head. "No," he said, when he could finally speak.

"Why not?" Mark asked. "You obviously like her."

Roger nodded. "But I can't, Mark," he said. "Mimi—"

"Roger, you know you and Mimi talked before she left," Mark interrupted. "You two loved each other, but it wasn't to last. She had to go back home to get away from the drugs and so her influence would get away from you. I know that sounds harsh, but there were times when she tried to convince you to start using again. You loved each other, but she was also somewhat bad for you, in that sense, even though she got you out of the loft after April died and we all loved her."

Roger nodded. Mark was right. Mimi had been one of the best parts of his life so far. She had come home from work at the Cat Scratch Club and danced into his loft that Christmas Eve, 1989, and persuaded him to go out with her. He had rejected her at first, nervous and overwhelmed by her very presence and his own feelings, scared to get hurt again after April had killed herself after discovering they both had HIV/AIDS. But he had later found her, apologized, and they had both realized how much they liked each other and started going out for real.

A year later, Angel had died of AIDS, and the Bohemians had temporarily broken up. Collins had taken a teaching gig at MIT, Roger had run away to Santa Fe, New Mexico, to try and find inspiration for a new song, and Mark had buried himself in his work and finished his infamous documentary, 'Today 4 U: Proof Positive', in an attempt to stem his anger about everything and hide his feelings. Maureen and Joanne had had a fight, but reconciled soon after.

Roger had found that inspiration and come back before Christmas with a song dedicated to Mimi, after receiving word that she hadn't shown up for work for weeks and was rumored to be using heroin again, since she had dropped out of rehab. Maureen and Joanne had found her in Tompkins Square Park, nearly frozen, starving, and rail-thin, victim to an overdose.

She had survived, miraculously, and after she had recovered, she and Roger had had a fight about her entering rehab again to get better and off the drugs. Mimi had eventually gone back home to Mexico and her family, to be with them while she went through rehab. Roger knew it had not been what she had wanted to do, but she eventually had.

Roger remembered their conversation, like it had happened yesterday.

_Roger walked into Mimi's apartment, three days after he had caught her using and stormed off angry, given up on her. He had given himself a few days to cool off before speaking to her again, to try yet again to get her off the drug habit and to have a normal life, like he was._

"_Mimi," he said, knocking and entering her apartment, "we, uh, we need to talk."_

"_What do you want, Roger?" she asked hotly. She was obviously still hurt about their confrontation in the alleyway three days ago. Roger had found her in the alleyway across the street from the loft and her apartment, buying smack yet again from The Man. Roger had immediately gotten angry, they had had a fight, he had pushed her around, and they had yelled at each other. Roger kept saying Mimi should try harder and that he was giving her his all, to get her off the drugs, and Mimi kept insisting she was just talking to The Man, not buying smack. But Roger knew better. He had thrown her smack in her face and walked away, leaving Mimi alone on the street._

"_We need to talk... about the other day," Roger said. He had no idea what to say and he was also pretty certain talking wasn't going to do any good anymore. "Mimi, you know how much I want you off the drugs, to be able to live a normal life, like me. The other day... you messed up. You'd been trying hard to get off the drugs and you screwed up."_

"_Baby, I'm trying," Mimi pleaded with him. "How many times did you relapse before you finally stopped?"_

"_Once," Roger said, scowling. "The day April died, I tried to kill myself with shooting as much of that shit in me as I could. My heart stopped, but the paramedics brought me back and Mark and Collins and Maureen gave me a serious talking-to in the hospital. I was lucky I didn't do any damage to myself and I decided to do whatever I could to get off the drugs and get my old life back, even if it now had to include HIV. You persuaded me to get off my ass and get a life outside the loft, Mimi. Why won't you give yourself that life, too?"_

"_Damn it, Roger, I'm trying the best I can," Mimi snapped. "You sitting there and judging me isn't helping."_

_Roger frowned, thinking. He hadn't wanted to, but he knew he had already passed judgment on her. He felt it._

"_Maybe you need to leave," he suggested._

"_Leave? What do you mean, 'leave'?" Mimi asked, confused._

"_Leave the city," Roger said, "and any temptation it holds. Go home, Meems, to Mexico. Enter rehab once you get down there and be with your family while you go through it."_

"_That's always your answer to everything," Mimi yelled, her eyes flashing. "Just run away!"_

"_Meems, you know it has been forever since you last saw your family. You haven't been doing your rehab up here because there has been too much temptation too often. Maybe a change of scenery and situation will help motivate you. You know how your mom is. She'd support you," Roger said. "You can always come back when you're better, more under control. Look at me; I've been clean for a year and a half now. It never tempts me anymore."_

"_What? It is better for ME to go? You just don't want to see me self-destruct anymore. You can't deal with it, so having me leave is the easiest decision all around," Mimi yelled. "Then you get to think that I am getting the help I need and I will be reunited with my family. It's a win-win situation that you played a part in. It is a good way for you to help me without ever dealing with it."_

"_Of course I don't want to see you self-destruct anymore! Why _wouldn't _it be better for you to go down there? It wouldn't do me any good; I'm not the addict with the problem! Why are you so set against seeing your family and getting off the drugs? You just said to me, I can't watch you self-destruct. Well, no, I can't, which is what I've been trying to tell you! You need to stop this shit!" Roger yelled._

"_I don't want to bring my mother into this," Mimi said. She pulled her arms around herself and looked hurt. "I can't do that to her." She scowled at Roger. "Why are you talking to me like you are so much better than me? You were in the same place I am. You had friends that cared, ones that stuck by you, not tried to convince you to run back home."_

"_Of course I care. I've been sticking by you since you came dancing into my life, Mimi, and convinced me to get out and get a life. I'm only suggesting you go live in Mexico for a while for your own good," Roger said. "You gave up on rehab here. Somewhere else would be a good idea, I think. We wouldn't abandon you. We would always be just a phone call or letter away."_

"_Did you go to rehab?" Mimi asked him suddenly._

_Roger shook his head. "No, I didn't," he said. "Collins, Mark, Benny, and Mo locked me in the loft and wouldn't let me leave. They confiscated everything that would have given me back to the habit; my smack, my needles, everything. Eventually, when I stopped having fits and the physical pain was lesser, they let me go to gigs to try and make money and get my mind off the drugs and also contribute to our rent and stuff. But they monitored my every move. It was really tough and it sucked, but it worked; I did it, and I've been clean for months now."_

"_So why can't I do the same thing?" Mimi asked._

"_You don't really want to, do you? I think being stuck inside for weeks, months, would kill you," Roger said. "You're such a free spirit. You hate your place here, even though you love the city and roaming. I'd hate to see you waste away your spirit being locked up."_

"_Oh, and being in rehab is so much better," Mimi snapped sarcastically._

_Roger felt himself get frustrated and angry and he gave up. "Fine, do whatever you want," he said. "I don't care. You know what I want for you, only the best, but you won't listen and you won't save yourself. I can't help you anymore. You have to decide for yourself whether you want to live or die. I can't make that decision for you."_

"_Fine!" Mimi yelled. "People fight for you, but when things get bad, all you do is run! I am tired of it! I am sorry that I am not the perfect woman for you! I am sorry that I am so messed up! I'm sorry I can't be who you want me to be!"_

_Tears sparkling in her eyes, Mimi turned and fled the room. She ran into her bedroom and slammed the door._

"_Fine, just go, then, like I care!" he yelled furiously after her._

_Roger stared long and hard after her, then, stone-faced, he turned and walked out of her apartment._

Roger hadn't heard from her since; he figured she was probably still furious with him. He wasn't angry with her any longer; he hoped she was all right.

Roger shook his head to clear it. Mimi and Elise were overwhelming his thoughts, making it hard to think about his upcoming gig.

"Mark, I'm gonna go for a walk," he said, rising from the table. "I need some fresh air."

He made to walk over to the entryway and grab his coat and Mark said, "OK, Roger, but take your AZT before you leave."

Roger changed direction and went to the kitchen and took an AZT pill. Then he pulled on his grey-blue jacket and headed outside. It took him about half an hour to get to Madison Avenue. He knew there was a Ralph Lauren store there, and he wondered if Elise worked there or if it was another store elsewhere.

Roger bought a donut at a street shop and continued on down the street. He caught a flash of familiar red hair in his peripheral vision. Turning, he saw it was Elise.

Roger knew there was no way around it, no use denying it; he liked her a lot and had to ask her out.

He went up to her and tapped her on the shoulder. She turned around and a surprised look came over her face.

"Roger, hey," she said. "So what, are you stalking me or something?"

Roger heard no accusation in her voice; in fact, she was smiling. "I was in the neighborhood," he said, smiling at her. Her eyebrows rose. "I had to take two subways and a taxi to get in the neighborhood, but, um..." He grinned sheepishly and cleared his throat. "Are you busy or do you wanna grab a bite to eat or something?"

"Sure, we can do that," Elise said. "I'm about to go on lunch break anyway. Where do you wanna go?"

Roger shrugged. "Wherever's fine," he said. "Do you like seafood and fish and barbecue? We could go to Live Bait."

"I love fish," Elise said. "It's really healthy for you."

"Well, I'm all about breaded walleye if you are," Roger said, smiling at her.

"OK," Elise said, smiling back at him, and she walked away with him.

* * *

"So, tell me about your son?" Roger asked, when they were eating lunch. "You know, the one who ran into me the other day." He grinned.

Elise laughed. "Well, he's my one and only and he's three. He just turned three in December. I was barely finished with my first half of my freshman year of college when I had him. I dropped out of school and got a job as a waitress at the Moondance Diner during the day. Then I was discovered by Adam at Ralph Lauren and I've been there ever since. My nanny, Sophia, takes care of Dominic while I work during the day, except I have lunch with him daily, so Sophia can take a lunch break."

"And Dominic's father...?" Roger asked tentatively, in case it was a touchy topic.

"Chris is still active in Dom's life, sees him every other weekend. Usually they go to Chris's apartment off-campus, since he's still in school," Elise said straightforwardly. "His roommates love Dominic. And it gives Sophia another break. She never says anything, she's too sweet, but I know caring for Dominic so much can be wearing on her."

Roger nodded. "I'm glad things seem to be working out for you," he said. "I tried school for a while, but it didn't work out for me, either."

"Why, what happened to you?" Elise asked. "I'm pretty sure you can't get knocked up by your boyfriend and drop out of school."

Roger grinned for a moment. "No, I can't, can I?" he mused, trying to be funny. Then his expression fell to dead serious. "It's not something to be discussed here."

"But—" Elise began.

But Roger cut her off. "Trust me," he said, "it's not lunch conversation."

Elise narrowed her eyes, still suspicious, but she let it drop. "Well, all right," she said. She pushed her plate away and placed her napkin on it. "I'm ready to go if you are."

Roger nodded and stood up with her. After paying the bill, as he walked out of the café with her, he gently insisted, "Elise, I'm not hiding this from you because I want to. I just don't feel you're ready to hear it yet. I don't want to overwhelm you."

Elise nodded. "I understand," she said. "You're way more mysterious than me. I get it. It's OK."

Roger laughed hollowly. "It is way more complicated than that, trust me," he said. Then Roger suddenly remembered something and quickly changed topics. "Hey, I should tell you something. I've got a concert, gig thing coming up, March first. I'm in the process of promoting a possible album. It's free to the public, in Washington Square Park. You should come."

Elise nodded. "I'll try," she said. "What time?"

"Seven," Roger said. "I've been hanging up posters all over town."

"OK, count me in," Elise said, smiling.

Roger smiled happily. Now his gig couldn't get here fast enough.

* * *

_This story will be a RogerOC and will also be Roger/Mark friendship centric. I'm slowly building up Roger and Elise's relationship. I hope you like it so far. Don't forget, the story is already fully written, so you guys won't be waiting longer than I want for updates, which will be posted up once a week. Except this week, I'm updating two chapters, because I'm going to be gone this coming Monday through Thursday on Choir Tour and will have no Internet access, so I'm updating before then to make up for it. Then after Tour is spring break, and I will be busy job training and such, and I'm not sure if I'll have computer access then, either, which is another reason why I'm posting up two chapters. Two chapters in one week, I hope that makes you guys happy! Reviews are encouraging, so go do that, and I will be happy, too!_


	3. Moonlight Sonata

Again, I want to thank my beta and Renthead partner-in-crime, katetastic, for role-playing with me to give me the Roger/April situations and conversations in this chapter. I owe you, chica. This chapter is for you. Of course, I don't own the Beethoven reference. And in fact, I wouldn't want to, even if I had the opportunity, since the first movement of _Moonlight Sonata _is so hard for me to play and drives me crazy, LOL. Here is chapter 3.

* * *

**Chapter Three- Moonlight Sonata**

The sky was clear and a gentle breeze was blowing on March first, the night of Roger's gig. He smiled, pleased; he couldn't ask for a better night to perform in the park. If only Elise were to show...

He was in the middle of his second song when she made her way to the front of the crowd, never taking her eyes off him as she gently pushed through the people to get to the stage. She stood right in front of him, just beyond the stage. If he hadn't been busy playing his guitar and singing, he would have reached out and touched her hand, something that would have made his other groupies jealous.

He couldn't take his eyes off her the entire night. When he show finally ended, he disassembled the equipment with the band rather quicker than he might have, had he not wanted to see her so badly.

She was waiting for him backstage.

"Hey," he said, "you're not supposed to be back here."

"As if you care," she retorted, laughing.

Roger laughed. She was right. "I'm glad you're here," he said, putting his arm around her. "How'd you like the show?"

"It was really good," Elise said, "despite your groupies squishing the hell outta me."

Roger laughed. "Well, that's your fault for coming to the stage," he teased her.

Elise laughed. "It was worth it," she said.

"I'm glad you had fun," Roger said. "So are you gonna get it when it comes out? My manager, Larry, is confident it's gonna sell."

"Only if I can get a personally autographed copy, and none of that stamping business," Elise said, smiling.

Roger grinned. "I don't have the money to have my own personal stamp," he assured her, grinning. "Of course you can have a personally autographed copy." He looked down at her and spoke before he could stop himself. "Elise, I like you."

"You what?" Elise asked, looking up at him.

"I like you a lot," Roger said. "Will you be my girlfriend? I don't mean to rush into things, I mean... but I really do like you."

"Sure," Elise said.

Roger was surprised. "Really?" he asked. "You mean it?"

Elise nodded. "Yes," she said, "I mean it." She looked down at her watch. "I'd better get home. Sophia will want to go home and I need to tuck in my baby boy, if he's not already asleep."

"Sounds good to me," Roger said. He smiled. "Can I take you home?"

"Oh... no, that's OK, I can see you're busy here. I mean, I've got a car," Elise said, looking at the rest of the band, all of whom were eyeing Roger suspiciously.

"No, I'm not, it's OK," Roger said. "The boys will understand if I feel I need to get you home safely to your little one."

"Are you sure?" Elise asked, looking up at him.

"Absolutely," Roger said. "Come on, let's go."

"Well, OK," Elise said uncertainly, and after Roger told his bandmates where he was going, she walked to her Porsche with him.

* * *

Ten minutes later, they found themselves on the front porch steps of a huge house in the center of the city.

Elise saw the way Roger was staring. "Is it too much?" she asked.

"Yes. I mean, no!" Roger stammered quickly, shaking his head. He had never been with a woman who had had so much money before; the feeling was awkward, but at the same time, he almost had a sense of security for once in his life. "I mean, it's... a lot, but it's beautiful."

"I'm glad you like it," Elise said. "It's pretty lonely a lot of the time, though. It's just me, Dominic, and Sophia most of the time, sometimes Chris."

Roger nodded. "I'm sorry it's lonely for you," he said, looking down at her. "I hope I can change that."

"I'm sure you will," Elise said, smiling. "Do you want to go inside and have a tour? Dominic's probably sleeping, but since we're back, I can tell Sophia she can go home for the night. She's wanted to meet you for a while now."

"Sure," Roger said.

They went inside together and she led him through the foyer and up the grand staircase. Roger looked at pictures of two older people on the wall.

"Your parents?" he asked her, looking at Elise.

"Yes," Elise said. "We immigrated here legally when I was six months old, but they missed home too much. They've been traveling the world since I was thirteen. Dominic's nanny, Sophia, she was my nanny once they left. She's basically been my mother ever since. My parents paid for half of my college until I dropped out and they help support Dominic, too, so Chris and I aren't so overwhelmed. I don't really mind them being away so much, but I do miss Father. He was my best friend and the person I always went to for advice or just to talk when I was growing up. But I love what I do and I love my son, so it's OK. We still keep in contact. He calls me once a week and always tells me where he is and what he's been doing."

Roger nodded. She showed him four bedrooms upstairs, including Dominic's and hers. Roger met Sophia, then she left to go home and they went back downstairs to the dining room. A golden glass chandelier hung from the ceiling.

"Wow," Roger said in awe, looking at the chandelier. "No offense, but do you realize we could hock a bunch of this stuff and feed a whole third-world country?"

To his surprise, Elise chuckled. She nodded. "It is too much," she agreed, "at least for only three people. I need to downsize it some, but my parents were... overly generous to start out."

Roger nodded. "Are they nice?" he asked her.

"Oh yes," Elise said, "just... unsettled. Father never traveled much when he was growing up, so he took advantage of that with my mother, whose father was in the military, so they moved around way too much. But she knows where to take him."

Roger laughed. "They sound neat," he said.

Elise laughed. "What are your parents like, Roger?" she asked.

"They're cool," Roger said. "My mom's really nice, even though she can be slightly overbearing sometimes. You'd like her." He smiled. "And my dad's a good man."

Elise smiled. "That's fortunate," she said.

Roger nodded. "It is," he said, "especially after everything I put them through..."

"What do you mean?" Elise asked.

Roger froze. "I, um, I don't know," he said awkwardly. "Elise, there's so much you don't know about me."

"Well, that's because you won't let me," Elise said, stepping closer to him. Their faces were a breath apart. "I want to be close, but you won't let me near. What are you trying to protect me from?"

Roger bit his lip. "If you really want to know," he resigned, "we should at least sit down."

"All right, well, let's go to the music room and talk," Elise said.

"You have a music room?" Roger asked eagerly. "No way."

"Yes, my father calls it my 'bunch-of-instruments-I-don't-know-how-to-play' room, because the only instrument I play well in here is my grand piano," Elise joked, grinning.

She led him to the music room. Inside, a grand piano stood in the center of the room, and resting against the walls was an acoustic guitar, mandolin, hammered dulcimer, harmonica, and cello.

"What do you think?" she asked.

Roger was at a loss for words. Already, he knew this was, and would always be, his favorite room in her house. One of the walls was simply a huge glass window and door, which opened to the rest of the house.

"It's beautiful," he said. He looked at the piano. "You said you play?"

"Yes, I've been playing since I was seven," Elise said. "Mother started my lessons, but Sophia took over when Mother and Father left."

"Will you play me something?" Roger asked her.

Elise blushed. "Sure, I suppose," she said. "It shouldn't bother Dominic. His room's a good distance away from this room."

She let go of his hand and went and sat down at the piano.

From the moment her hands began playing the first solemn arpeggiated chords to Beethoven's _Piano Sonata No. 14 ("Moonlight Sonata")_, Roger was mesmerized. He pulled up a chair, turned it backwards, and leaned forward on it and let the music carry him away, away from the crowded, busy, noisy streets of New York City, away from the HIV/AIDS, away from all the death, grief, despair, to a place where he was at peace, happy, and nothing was wrong, there was no fear or pain or sadness. A content smile came over his face and he closed his eyes, letting the sounds and vibrations fill his entire being.

"Roger?"

Roger jerked out of his daze. "Huh?" he said, momentarily confused. He looked up at her, remembering where he was. He wasn't sure how long he had been out of it. "Oh. Sorry."

"Did you like it?" she asked.

"Yeah, I loved it," Roger said. "Moonlight Sonata is great."

"That's only the first movement, you know," Elise said.

Roger nodded. "Yeah," he said.

"But I don't play the others much, I love the first one too much," Elise said. "It took me forever to get those damn flat and double flat notes right, they're tough, especially since it's in C-sharp minor."

Roger smiled. "It was beautiful, Elise," he said.

"Thank you," Elise said. "Would you like to see the rest of the house first or should we talk first?"

"I, um, I dunno," Roger said awkwardly.

"Roger, are you all right?" Elise asked.

Roger looked straight into her eyes. "Elise, I'm afraid you'll... leave me if I tell you what's on my mind," he admitted. "I mean, we've only been together for two, almost three months. I think it'll be too much."

"Roger, I'm not gonna leave you. Try me," Elise said, looking at him.

"Well, OK." Roger took a deep breath. "I'm from Scarsdale originally, as are all my closest friends, except Maureen's from Hicksville and Joanne's from Philadelphia. Mark and I both wanted to go to NYU to study music and film. Mark's parents, on the other hand, wanted him to go to Brown University at Providence, Rhode Island. He did for a couple years, to make his parents happy, but then he dropped out. Back in the beginning of my college days, I was at NYU. My friend Collins teaches there now.

"Anyway, I was playing a gig in the evenings after classes one day and this redhead was watching me the entire time, smiling at me and stuff."

_Roger was having fun rocking out to one of his songs, the stage surrounded by a crowd of his fans, screaming and singing the words along with him. It was his five-nights-a-week gig at CBGB's, the famous 18-years-and-up bar in New York City. He noticed a pretty redhead watching him the entire show and he found he couldn't take his eyes off her. She was very thin, but very pretty._

"I talked to her after the show and she asked if I wanted to join her for dinner," Roger said. "We went out for a while and our relationship quickly got physical. She told me about her drug habit and why she had started using; the night of her senior prom, her boyfriend had fallen asleep at the wheel, rolled his car, and died. If she hadn't gone out with him all night and he hadn't had to drive home that same night, he wouldn't have died, or so she thought."

_April and Roger had gone home for Christmas break, so she could officially meet his family. She loved Mrs. Davis and Mr. Davis was nice, too. Roger was an only child, so he had no siblings for her to meet._

_On Christmas Eve night, everyone had gone to bed in the early hours of the morning, after staying up all night, laughing and talking and opening one present. The rest they would open on Christmas Day. Instead of staying at Roger's parents' place in Scarsdale, they went to the city to spend the night with Collins. Roger was woken up by someone crawling onto his bed. Collins had two extra rooms, in addition to his, and Roger was staying in one. Maureen and Mark were staying in the other room. Benny was asleep on Collins' couch._

"_Shh, Roger, it's me," April said, placing her hand over his mouth so he couldn't cry out._

"_What are you doing?" Roger asked sleepily._

"_I want to be with you," April said._

"_April, you've been with me all day for the past week," Roger said, grinning._

_April rolled her pretty green eyes. "I know, silly," she said, smiling. Then her face became serious. "No, I mean, I want to be with you, be with you."_

_Roger's eyebrows rose. "You want to now?" he asked._

_April nodded. "Yes," she said, "before everyone else gets up later. It's our only chance. Come on, please?" She looked pleadingly at him. "I love you."_

_Roger smiled. "I love you, too," he said. He lay back on the bed with her on top of him, her head resting on his chest. He stroked her hair, stalling for time._

"_Roger, I have to tell you something," April said._

"_What, April?" Roger asked._

"_I'm an addict," April said._

"_Of what?" Roger asked._

"_Heroin," April said. She would not look at him. "I'm sorry, I should have told you sooner."_

"_Oh, April," Roger said, "you mean you didn't listen to all that stuff they told us in elementary school? 'Drugs are bad', 'don't have sex or you'll get pregnant', blah, blah, blah?"_

_April shook her head. "I did," she said, "until..."_

"_Until?" Roger prompted her._

_Tears formed in April's eyes and flowed down her cheeks. "I don't want to talk about it," she said, looking down._

"_Oh, come now, none of that," Roger said, lifting her chin. "You wake me up in the middle of the night on Christmas Eve and want to have sex with me, then you say there's nothing to talk about me and we drop it just like that? That's not fair. Come on, tell me."_

_April bit her lip and lay down against his pillow. "The reason I started using was, the night of my senior prom, my boyfriend... he died," she said._

_Roger was shocked. "How did he die?" he asked gently._

"_It was about four-thirty a.m. and he dropped me back off at my parents' place," April said. "I went to sleep right away, but my mom woke me up an hour later and told me he'd... he'd rolled his car and died. He'd fallen asleep at the wheel." April pulled her knees up to her chest and cried openly now. "If we hadn't been out all night, if he hadn't been tired, he wouldn't have fallen asleep and died. It was my fault... It was my fault..."_

"_Oh, sweetie..." Roger said soothingly. She still gripped her knees to her chest, but he picked up her entire body and pulled her close to him. "Sweetie, it wasn't your fault. You couldn't have prevented it from happening."_

"_Yes, Roger, I could have," April cried. "If I had asked my parents if he could have stayed with us that night, so he didn't have to drive out of town to get home, he would still be alive. It _is _all my fault and don't try to tell me any different."_

_Roger didn't know what to say. He'd never dealt with such a loss. Sure, he'd had pets die and even his grandparents had died, but he had never been as close to them as she seemed to have been with her ex-boyfriend._

"_April, I'm so sorry," he said. "How can I help?"_

"_Just love me, Roger," April said through her tears. "Love me and that will help me forget."_

_Roger nodded and lay back on the bed on top of her. He gently removed his T-shirt she always wore to bed and her panties. Then he pulled off his boxers and threw them to the floor. He took her in his arms, kissing her every few seconds, and slowly, gently made love to her, supporting his weight with his elbows. The last thing he wanted to do right now was hurt her when she was already traumatized. For being so tiny, only five-four and barely a hundred pounds, he was surprised how strong she was. She met him thrust for thrust, rocking her body with his, and they climaxed together._

_It was bittersweet, but beautiful. When they were done, Roger immediately took her into his arms, held her close, and kissed her over and over. Then they both fell asleep in each other's arms._

* * *

_I'm going to be gone for the next two weeks, roughly, so this is the last update until after Spring Break. Pictures of Elise's mansion are on my profile, if any of you are interested in seeing what it looks like. Also, in case you guys are wondering, I'm trying my best to make sure Elise speaks properly, since she's French, not American; however, since she has lived in America most of her life, it's likely she would have picked up slang, especially being raised in New York City, so that explains the occasional 'gonna' and the like that may have slipped by me. I have been working on this story for a while now and I'm very curious to see how it will be received. This same conversation continues in the next chapter, as Roger tells Elise more about his life, so keep reading. And don't forget to leave a review! Thanks. If you guys have any questions or comments or anything, feel free to email me, if you don't want to leave it in the review. See y'all around March 27!_

_Here are pictures of Elise's mansion, in case any of you are curious: _.


	4. Getting to Know You

So I decided to update early. Reasoning behind this is choir tour got canceled (bad weather; we were all disappointed, we'd worked hard and packed light and got up super early to arrive early, we left by 5:15 a.m. and all, so we were all exhausted for nothing) and I have nothing to do tonight on my spring break, since I don't want to work on finishing my math until tomorrow, when I've had a decent night's sleep for once (no roommate and no hot dorm room, yay!!) Happy Spring, everybody. Here is chapter 4. This conversation is continuing from chapter 3, mostly because, with it all together, it was 27 pages and I couldn't figure out exactly where to separate the document into two chapters. I did the best I could. I hope it's OK. Flashbacks may be quite similar to those in my story "The One That Got Away", because I'm taking some of them from there, in case you're wondering.

* * *

**Chapter Four - Getting to Know You**

"But I loved her and I thought I could make that pain go away," Roger said. "We exchanged promise rings when we'd been together for six months. She ended up pregnant and quit using while she was pregnant. But one night, we had an argument about her using and she tripped and fell down the basement stairs, onto the concrete floor."

"Oh, my God, Roger," Elise said, her hand flying to her mouth.

Roger sighed, nodded, and closed his eyes as the memory came back to him, the pain as fresh as though it had happened yesterday.

"_April," Roger called out, walking into Collins' flat in New York City, which he and April were living in, "April, are you here?"_

"_I'm in the bathroom, Roger, I'll be right out," April called back._

_Roger narrowed his eyes suspiciously. April had said she had stopped using since she had discovered she was pregnant, but there were a few times where he hadn't always believed her. He walked over to the small bathroom just as April opened the door._

"_Hey, baby," she said, smiling and taking him into her arms and kissing him, running her fingers through his cropped, bleach-blonde hair._

"_Hey," Roger said, "can we talk?"_

"_Sure, what about?" April asked._

_Roger took her hand and led her to the living room area. He sat down on the couch with her and looked at her._

"_April, I need to ask you something," he said. "You quit using since you found out you were pregnant with our baby, right?"_

_April nodded, looking offended. "Of course I did. How could you even ask me that?" she asked. She ran her hands over her swollen belly._

_She was so tiny she had started to show almost right away. She and Roger had gone to live with Collins because they were afraid their parents would find out and be furious with him. Roger was still playing his five-nights-a-week gig at CBGB's, but April was still unemployed; although she was looking for a job, she hadn't had any luck so far. While they took phone calls occasionally from Roger's parents, they completely ignored April's parents calling and wouldn't let their parents visit. They just kept feeding them the well-rehearsed lies._

"_You know how tough those first few months were on me. Not only did I have to deal with our baby changing me, but I had to go through withdrawal, too."_

_Roger nodded. "I'm just worried," he said. "I think you should get checked out for HIV and stuff. It's just a simple blood test, it won't hurt the baby."_

"_Why, Roger, don't you trust me?" April asked him, looking hurt. "We exchanged promise rings. We love each other. How can you ask me something like that, then claim you trust me?"_

"_Of course I trust you," Roger assured her. "I care about you so much. But that doesn't mean I'm not worried about you and our baby."_

"_I don't want to risk anything happening to the baby," April said, wrapping her arms around her stomach, "maybe after it's born."_

"_April, it's just a simple blood test and give you preventive medicine. It won't have any effect on our baby at all," Roger insisted. "Besides, you need to go in and get another ultrasound and vitamins and stuff, to make sure there's nothing wrong. I'm sure there isn't," he added hastily. "They can do the blood test while they're doing everything else. Come on, I'll go with you, if that'll make you feel any better."_

"_Roger, why does it matter if I have HIV or not? It won't change anything now. Plus, it's not like we can afford it," April said._

"_I'm working full-time evenings at CBGB's, so I can support you and our baby," Roger argued. "You've been trying to get a job, maybe you aren't trying hard enough. If we don't pay for all this stuff soon, our parents will have to and then we'll be found out. Is that what you want? They won't let us stay together if they find out you're pregnant, certainly not your parents. I couldn't bear it if you were forced to leave me and take our baby with you. A doctor can give you medication to prevent the baby from getting HIV. Please, April, just get those meds, at least," he pleaded with her._

_Their argument had moved to the kitchen. The door to the basement was open. April leaned against the refrigerator and Roger stood in front of her and leaned forward, bracing himself with his arms against the refrigerator._

"_At this point, they can't start avoiding HIV; they had to have started that shit at conception!" April yelled. "Plus, they don't know the side effects of the drugs on the baby and there is no way they are going to figure that out on my baby."_

"_April, there are side effects with every drug in this world, good or bad. Heroin withdrawal's a bitch side effect, you know that," Roger said. "And this baby is mine, too, remember?!"_

"_But I make the final decision of what goes in my body, and even if I am positive, I refuse to take that shit while I am pregnant," April said, "not when it could hurt the baby."_

"_You could be harming the baby by being positive and _not _taking the drugs to prevent him or her from becoming positive!" Roger yelled. "Don't you care at all? And I get to be part of that 'final decision', April, I have a right to, or you shouldn't be pregnant at all!"_

"_Don't you fucking dare say I don't care?! That is bull shit and you know it! If the baby was gonna get AIDS, it would have happened by now," April yelled in his face. "And you don't think I should be pregnant?! Where the fuck is this coming from?"_

"_I just think that you're not being smart with taking care of our baby while he or she is still inside you," Roger said. "What if something is wrong, not HIV-related? You won't have tried to do anything and it'll be your fault."_

"_Then we wouldn't be able to fix it anyway," April said. "It would have to be fixed early on. So it doesn't matter anymore."_

"_It does matter, but there isn't anything we can do, so why try and figure it out now? I will still love our baby even if something is wrong," April said. "And don't you dare say I don't care!"_

_April ducked out from where she stood in his arms and made to storm away from him, but Roger grabbed her by the arm, wanting to stop her and not let this argument drop without a fight. But she yanked her arm out of his grasp and tripped._

_Next moment, Roger watched in horror as she lost her balance and fell down the entire flight of stairs and lay motionless. Roger was paralyzed with terror._

_The moment Roger's limbs began to work again, he bolted down the stairs._

"_Oh, my God, April!" he yelled. April's head was bleeding from where she had hit it several times in the fall. Roger turned her over, picked her up, and carried her up the stairs as quickly as he could, then laid her gently on the kitchen floor and tried to shake her awake._

_April came to with a moan of pain. "Roger..." she whispered, looking around for him._

"_I'm here, baby," Roger said, kneeling down next to her and taking her hand, "I'm here. Oh, God, April, I'm so sorry..."_

_Suddenly, April jerked and grabbed her stomach and let out a moan. "Oh! Oh, my God, contraction!" she cried._

"_OK, just stay still, April, I'm gonna call 911," Roger said feverishly, and he bolted to the phone. "My girlfriend has fallen down the stairs and has gone into labor. OK, thank you." Roger hung up the phone and looked at April. "The paramedics are on their way. It's gonna be fine."_

"_How do you know?" April asked, tears in her eyes, as she took Roger's hand._

"_I don't," Roger said, chuckling nervously, "but we have to hope, don't we?"_

"_I'm sorry for yelling at you, Roger," April cried._

"_Don't worry about it, baby, you were justified," Roger said._

"_So were you," April said, looking at him._

"_Shhh, don't talk about that right now, honey, just breathe," Roger said, and he showed her a breathing exercise he remembered from high school life skills class. April imitated him._

_The paramedics arrived and immediately put April on a stretcher._

"_Are you her husband?" one of them asked Roger._

"_I'm her boyfriend," Roger said. "Please help her."_

"_When we get to the hospital, the doctors will do everything they can to stop labor," the paramedic explained, while they loaded April into the ambulance. Roger climbed in and rode alongside her, not letting go of her hand the whole way._

"She had a broken wrist and she'd cracked her skull. She went into premature labor at five months along. Our baby wasn't able to breathe on her own and died that same night. She had a brain hemorrhage and swelling from her early birth and her heart stopped. April and I were devastated," Roger said, tears in his eyes.

Elise wiped away his tears. "Oh, Roger, I'm so sorry," she said softly. "That must have been so terrible."

"It was," Roger said. "It wasn't a week after the funeral for our little Kia that she started using again. I was still angry about all that, so angry that I started using with her after she persuaded me several times." He looked at Elise, who was looking shocked. "Yes, Elise, I used. I was hurting so bad and I was stupid. And things only got worse from there." Elise was silent, waiting for Roger to continue talking. "Mark dropped out of Brown and came to live with us and Maureen." Roger smiled bitterly. "Maureen was livid about the whole thing. Only Collins really knew; his parents lived in New Orleans and rarely came up to see him, and he them.

"Then bad turned to worse," Roger said. "I came home from my gig one afternoon and it was really quiet in the loft, so right away, I knew something was wrong, because it's never quiet there. I found April lying in the bathtub. There was blood everywhere. I don't think there was any left in her. She was dead."

"_Oh my God, April!" Roger yelled, terrified. He bolted over to the tub and fell to his knees and embraced her still, tiny body. For being only about five-foot-four, barely 120 pounds, she had a lot of blood. Roger looked around, knowing Collins and Mark weren't far behind him. "Collins! Mark! Help! Get in here now! Help!" he screamed desperately._

_Collins and Mark ran into the bathroom and saw Roger clinging desperately to April's body. Her eyes were closed and she looked like she was sleeping. But they knew she was dead because of all the blood._

"_Roger, come away from her," Collins said. He went over to Roger and placed his hand on Roger's shoulder. He tugged gently, but Roger wouldn't budge. "Mark, call 911," Collins said, looking back at Mark, whose face had lost any remaining color he had had._

_Mark bolted from the bathroom, looking slightly green, and went to go call 911. Both he and Collins knew it was too late to try to revive April, but they had to take her body away. Mark came back into the room a few minutes later and stared at Roger from the doorway. No matter what Collins said, Roger would not let go of April, and he wasn't even high._

"_Look at this," he sobbed, shoving a small piece of paper at Mark and Collins, who took it._

_In deep red lipstick, it read:_

_Roger, WE HAVE AIDS!!_

_Mark and Collins could only stare at Roger in horror at what they had just witnessed. April was HIV-positive and was now dead by suicide. It could only mean Roger had HIV, too._

_The ambulance came to take April's body away, as well as a few cops to get Roger, Mark, and Collins' statements._

"_Roger, you gotta get up," Mark said to him. Roger shook his head; eyes closed, whimpering, he would not move. "Roger, the cops need your statement. They need to know what went on here, so we can figure it out. Come on. Please."_

_With both Mark and Collins' hands on his shoulders, Roger was gently persuaded to come away from April's body. They went out of the bathroom, so as not to see the paramedics putting April's body into a body bag._

"_She's HIV-positive, so please be careful!" Roger yelled after them, not looking at them putting April's body into the body bag. The paramedics, of course, already knew this. Mark and Collins had showed them the note when they had arrived._

_Then Roger, shaking with fear and grief, was guided out to the kitchen by Mark and Collins, who sat him in a chair. Mark was looking very grave and angry. Collins was shaking with silent sobs, but there were no tears on his face, only sparkling in his eyes._

"_We need your name, sir," one of the cops said to Roger._

"_Roger Davis," Roger muttered._

"_Can you tell us what happened?" another one of the cops asked. "Take your time. We know this is really hard for you."_

"_Her n-name is April Ericsson. She's a heroin addict. She got tested for HIV last week and I guess it was positive. I d-don't really know when she did it," Roger said through his tears. "I just got home a few minutes ago from a gig. I d-didn't see her in the loft anywhere, so I figured she had g-gone to take a shower. I didn't hear water running, though, or any noise at all, so I started to get worried. I came in here and I saw her lying in the bathroom with all that b-blood… She was already d-dead…"_

"_Thank you," the first cop said. "That's very helpful. Thank you. We're so sorry for your loss, Mr. Davis."_

_Roger nodded numbly and said nothing._

"_We'll take good care of her," one of the paramedics said kindly, as he passed Roger on his way out the door with the body bag in his and another paramedic's hands._

_Roger saw the body bag and turned and tried to bolt. Collins and Mark both grabbed him by the arms and he let out a strangled yell, clutching his face and hair forcefully, his eyes squeezed shut. He struggled for a moment and they both forced him away, so he couldn't see the body bag or the scene. It was several moments before he stopped trying to scream and get away from them. Then he sank to the floor, desperately lost._

"_What are we gonna do, Collins?" Roger asked desperately._

"_We'll get you clean, Rog," Collins said. "We'll do anything to get you off this shit, so you don't end up like April, OK?"_

_Roger nodded. "OK," he said. But all he really wanted was more heroin to shoot as much into himself as possible, so he could join April and forget about all that had just traumatized him._

"So you... you're...?" Elise asked, unable to finish her sentence through her throat closing up and her tears.

"Yes, Elise," Roger said, looking down at her through tired eyes, "I'm HIV-positive. I'm so sorry. I tried to tell you it was a lot."

"No, no, it's OK," Elise said, shaking her head. "I mean, it's not OK that you're sick, but I mean... my best guy friend from high school is positive, too. He's gay. And I have a couple close college friends who have it, too."

"I'm sorry," Roger said, looking down at her. "I'm on good meds and I'm doing OK. Your guy friend, is he OK?"

"Yeah, Charlie's all right," Elise said. "His mom disowned him, but he's working his ass off to get himself through college. He didn't give up like me."

"Elise, you didn't give up," Roger said. "You tried the best you could, the only way you knew how."

Elise considered this for a moment, then nodded. "I suppose," she said. "Is there more?"

"Oh yeah," Roger said. "There is a lot more." Elise waited for him to continue. "My addiction to heroin got worse after April died. I was in so much overwhelming physical and emotional pain when I wasn't on the drugs. They were the only thing that made it go away. At first, I had only ever shot up with April twice. I escaped the house several times and still had a way to escape my pain by getting high, so I took it. At first, I only shot up by myself a couple times a week, usually at night when Mark was asleep. He watched me all day, forcing me to go out filming with him so he could keep an eye on me while Collins was teaching, but I couldn't escape either of them in the evenings until they went to sleep. They had to sleep. Mark filmed during the day and Collins taught during the day, so both of them needed their sleep when they could get it. Then it was shooting up daily. Then it became three times a day. It got so bad, behind their backs, under their noses, that at one point, I needed it practically by the hour, or I became aggressive and dangerous in my desperation for more drugs.

"One day, I was coming down off my worst high yet and had no money for more drugs. Mark was at the loft, working on a short film, and I took my rage and pain out on him, attacked him and pinned him against the wall and demanded all the money he had on him," Roger continued.

_Mark lifted his head from looking at the screen of his projector, closed his eyes, and sighed deeply, as he heard the door slam. He was so used to this by now, he didn't even jump. Collins never slammed the door; neither did Maureen, for that matter. He knew it had to be Roger, probably home in a withdrawal-induced rage._

_He sighed heavily, but before he could turn around, strong, rough hands grabbed him by the back of his shirt, lifted him clear into the air, and slammed him against the wall. Glasses askew, the wind knocked out of him, Mark managed to choke, "What the... Roger?"_

"_Give me your flow, any you have on you right now," Roger snarled, his eyes glazed over from his high. He was coming down __off it and was desperate for money to get more drugs to get it back. Mark was the closest person he knew that would have money for him to go buy more. "Give me any money you have on you. Now."_

_Mark gasped for breath, trying desperately to think of what to say. "Roger, you know this isn't right. This isn't the real you. Snap out of it."_

"_Shut up, Mark!" Roger growled. "Shut the fuck up! You think I care what's the real me and what isn't anymore? Give me your damn money!"_

"_Roger, listen to yourself," Mark said. "This isn't who you are. You're a musician, a friend, and a good man. You don't have to do this to deal with Kia and April being gone. You know them being gone isn't your fault, never was. You gotta do something to get off this. Collins and me and Benny and Maureen can help you get into a good rehab somewhere, to get off this shit. Or do I have to threaten that Maureen will kick the shit out of you if you don't try it?"_

"_Maureen can't hurt me," Roger snapped. "I can break her like a twig a second if I want to. Is that what you want?"_

"_Roger, even if she could hurt you, would you want her to break, say, your hands just because she could?" Mark asked him. "I know you love your guitar. Put it that way and see if you really want to hurt her."_

_Mark didn't know what else to say, but he knew he had to keep Roger talking and keep Roger's mind off wanting his money, until Collins got back from teaching at NYU. It was almost three-thirty; it wouldn't be long and he would be able to help._

"_Roger, think of Kia. I know it hurts, but think of her. Do what you told April to do"— Mark knew this wasn't entirely true, but it was something— "and get off this shit for her. Do it for her. Doing it for her will be a good goal for you; it will help you get through the program and get off the stuff," Mark said._

"_Mark, I'm not gonna quit this. I don't want to," Roger said, dropping him to the floor. He whirled around. "I _like _being on this stuff. It makes the pain go away. It makes it so I don't have to think. I don't want to think. I don't want to live. If I keep on thinking and living, then April and Kia's memories are still there and they hurt so badly. I never even got to hold my baby or know her at all before she died. She wasn't even in this world before she died. It isn't fair!"_

_Roger started to cry, but to stop himself crying, he threw a bone-jarring punch at Mark's gut. Then he threw another and another. Punch after punch, Roger was relentless, fury packed into each punch he threw at Mark. One hand was fiercely punching Mark in the gut, the other holding him by the throat, strangling him. Mark was powerless to stop him and couldn't defend himself._

_Then Collins came through the door. He didn't spare one second to say his usual hellos and went over and pulled Roger off Mark. He pulled Roger's arms around behind his back, like he was arresting him, and slammed him against the opposite wall._

"_Roger, what the _fuck _are you doing?" Collins yelled. Roger struggled against him, trying to get back to beat up Mark, but Collins' grip was like iron and would not sway. "Beating up on your best friend, who's practically your brother, what the _fuck_ is wrong with you? You're high _again_?" He continued on immediately, not letting Roger snap a breath of retort. "Roger, this is my final word. Either you get off this shit or get the hell out of this apartment!" Collins stared at Roger, seeing it in his eyes that he was coming further down off his high. He would be coherent in a few seconds and Collins could persuade him further. It was always that way. Collins waited impatiently for the rage to end. When he felt Roger relax against his grip, which was still unyielding, he said, "Make your decision, Roger, _now_."_

_Roger looked around at Collins, although he still could not move the rest of his body. "OK… OK," he said. "I'll enter rehab. I'll do whatever you want. Just let me go."_

_Collins knew he was probably hurting Roger with the awkward position he was keeping him in, but with Mark vomiting blood behind them from what Roger had done to him, he didn't care. At this moment, Roger deserved to be hurt just as badly as he had hurt Mark, or worse._

"_Do you swear?" Collins asked. Roger nodded. But that wasn't enough for Collins, who shook him roughly. "Say it!"_

"_I swear!" Roger yelled._

_Collins turned Roger around so he faced Mark, who was covered in blood and gasping for breath. Mark adjusted his glasses and tried gingerly to get to his feet, but his legs wouldn't work properly. "Apologize!" Collins yelled at Roger._

"_I'm sorry," Roger said indifferently, looking down at Mark, although some part of him didn't feel sorry at all and thought Mark deserved what he had gotten for not giving him the money._

_Collins looked at Mark. Mark was staggering to his feet, wiping blood from his mouth._

"_Mark, go lock the door," he said. Mark's legs began to work again and he limped over to the door and locked it. Only then did Collins let Roger go. "Roger, here are some new rules around here. There will be no more smack or shooting up around here. Not here, not anywhere. From now on, you are not to be let out of the house or out of our sight. You can't be trusted on your own. Don't you _dare_ say you need to make money to live, because you don't," Collins warned him, because Roger had opened his mouth to protest. "You wouldn't be spending it on drugs if you really needed it to live. I make more money than both you fools combined. You can live off me for a while; months, if you have to. If we have to lock you in here and not let you out for six months, to get you off this shit, then we will." He looked at Mark. "Right, Mark?"_

"_Right," Mark said, wincing from the pain._

"_It's settled then," Collins said. He looked at Mark. "Mark, we should probably take you to the ER and get those injuries checked out. I don't know how hard Roger was hitting you, but you might have internal bleeding."_

_Mark nodded. He wasn't going to protest. Collins gripped Roger's arm and shoved him out of the loft, with Mark limping slowly beside them, and they went to the emergency room._

* * *

_I've decided to split the flashbacks into three chapters, since they are so long. The rest of the flashbacks will be in chapter 5. This is only the second time I've ever done said flashbacks; the first time was in _"The One That Got Away". _I do like writing them, so I may do them even more in the future. We'll see._

_I'm not sure why I haven't mentioned this before, but Elise's name is pronounced Ih-LEESE, just to clarify._

_Don't forget to review to tell me what you thought of this chapter. I love feedback. Thanks._


	5. Meeting the Bohos

Here is chapter 5, the last of the flashbacks in Roger and Elise's conversation from chapters 3 and 4. Reason I'm updating two chapters tonight, instead of one for this entire week, is because I felt weird leaving one or two chapters of flashbacks posted up without any resolve whatsoever. I wanted you guys to be able to continue reading them. And I wanted to get them out of the way, too, so I could get to the climax of the story and what the story is really supposed to be about (it's half a RogerOC story and half a Roger/Mark/Bohos/Major Character Death story, so... Happy Reading.

* * *

**Chapter Five – Meeting the Bohos**

"The withdrawal was the worst," Roger said, wiping his eyes. "It causes great physical pain and flu-like symptoms to withdraw from heroin, especially cold turkey, like I had to, with Collins' and Mark's help. There's no need to go into much detail; it's in the past. They locked me in the loft and got me off that shit, but I became depressed and wouldn't go anywhere. I left the loft for our landlord, Benny's wedding to his high school sweetheart, Alison Grey, but that was it. I didn't want to live anymore. I didn't care. It was especially tough for Mark. He told me later he had always felt like the middle man who had to be strong for everyone all the time. It was really wearing on him.

"Then Collins told us he was positive."

_Collins entered the loft at this moment. Mark and Roger were about to say hello, when they noticed he was upset and scared._

"_Collins, are you OK?" Mark asked, concerned. Collins shook his head._

"_No," he said, wiping his eyes. His voice shook. "Mark, Roger... I'm positive."_

_Mark and Roger's hearts sank. This news would destroy the philosopher. "Oh man, Collins, I'm so sorry," Roger said, going over to hug Collins._

"_No, don't be, Rog," Collins said, shaking his head. "I'm gay, there was always a chance."_

"_Well, if there's anything we can do, just let us know, OK, man?" Roger asked._

"_Thanks, man," Collins said, smiling tearfully at him. He sighed. "I'm gonna go to sleep for a while, if that's OK?"_

"_Of course, Collins, the honorary couch is yours," Mark said, smiling sympathetically at him. "I mean, you own it, after all."_

"_Thanks, man," Collins said, and he went to go to sleep on the couch for a few hours. As he was falling asleep, he said, "You know, I've been thinking about taking that job at MIT."_

"_You mean, leave New York? You? Never," Roger said._

"_Yeah, Rog," Collins said. "I mean, there's nothing for me here, really. I hate teaching those stupid couch potatoes at NYU. I want to go to MIT where there's promise of something for me, a job, a new life, find someone new to love, start over. I'm really thinking about it."_

"_Well, whatever you do that makes you happy, Collins, do it," Roger said. "Just come back and see us here in New York sometimes."_

"_Oh, I will, man," Collins said. "I definitely will. You two bums and Maureen can't take care of each other without me." Roger smiled; Collins smiled, too. _"_Keep thinking about what Kia's life would have been like, Roger, if that helps you. It might not be inspiring you right now, but it might sometime and you'll need a pencil and paper when they do. Maybe Mark will stop filming ducks sometime, too. And hey, I'm thinking Greece..." He smiled and Roger went over and snuggled a blanket around him so he could sleep._

"_Sleep well, bro," Roger said softly, and Collins went to sleep._

"Collins took a couple weeks off and went to Greece on vacation by himself. He made some new European friends there and they ran naked through the Parthenon together and got themselves arrested. We had to send the bail money and the U.S. Embassy overseas to get him out." Roger smirked. "He got expelled for teaching them the theory of actual reality, so he came back home.

"Then the fateful day came when I met Mimi," Roger said, smiling. He looked weary, but his eyes were bright again. It was as though the memory of Mimi had lit a flame in his soul that came out in his eyes.

_Roger looked up as he heard someone knock three times on the loft's sliding door. Mark had just left to go find Collins, who had vanished into thin air after they had thrown down the key for him to let himself in, on Christmas Eve, 1989. Roger went to answer the door, thinking it was Mark._

"_What'd you forget?" he asked, opening the door, expecting to see Mark, but instead seeing a pretty Latina standing there._

"_Got a light?" she asked, holding up a small, round taper candle._

"_I know you, you're..." Roger began, as she entered the loft. "You're shivering."_

"_It's nothing, they turned off my heat," she said, brushing him off. "And I'm just a little weak on my feet. Would you like my candle?" He put his jacket around her. "What are you staring at?"_

"_Nothing, your hair in the moonlight," Roger said. "You look familiar?" He took out a match and lit her candle and then she staggered back a step. He steadied her. "Can you make it?"_

"_Just haven't eaten much today, at least the room stopped spinning anyway," she said, walking around the loft. She noticed him staring at her again. "What?"_

"_Nothing, your smile reminded me…" Roger said._

"_I always remind people of— who is she?" she asked._

"_She died; her name was April," Roger said._

_She quickly blew out the candle and tried to make it look like it blew out itself. "It's out again," she said. She walked back over to him. "Sorry about your friend. Would you light my candle?"_

_Roger pulled out another match and lit it again, shaking the match so it stopped burning. "Well..." he said awkwardly._

"_Yeah?" she asked. Then the candle wax dripped on her finger. "Ow!"_

"_Oh, the wax," he said, holding her finger gently, "it's—"_

"— _dripping," she said, smiling coyly at him and bringing her hand between her breasts. "I like it between my—"_

"— _fingers," Roger said quickly, bringing her hands back up, "Heh, I figured. Oh well, good night."_

_He was trying to get her out of the building, because he liked her and this made him uncomfortable, but it wasn't working too well._

_She gave him his coat back. He watched her walk slowly back over to the sliding loft door, discreetly blowing out the candle in front of her as she went, so he didn't see, and then she knocked three times again and turned back around._

"_It blew out again?" Roger asked._

"_No, I think that I dropped my stash," she said, with her hands on her hips, pulling a searching look and glancing around the room._

"_I know I've seen you out and about when I used to go out," Roger said. "Your candle's out," he pointed out._

_She sighed, frustrated. "I'm illin', I had it when I walked in the door," she said, except she wasn't talking strictly about her candle. "It was pure! Is it on the floor?" She got down on the floor to look for her baggie of white powder._

"_The floor?" Roger asked, confused._

"_They say that I have the best ass below 14th Street," She said, looking coyly over her shoulder at him. "Is it true?"_

"_What?" Roger asked, confused._

"_You're staring again," she said._

"_Oh no, I mean you do have a nice... I mean, you look familiar!" Roger blustered, trying to cover up his blunder._

"_Like your dead girlfriend," she said._

"_Only when you smile, but I'm sure I've seen you somewhere else," Roger said, getting down on the floor to help her look._

"_Do you go to the Cat Scratch Club? That's where I work. I dance. Help me look," she said._

_Then Roger realized where he'd seen her before. "Yes!" he said, pointing at her. "They used to tie you up."_

"_It's a living," she said, rolling her eyes._

"_I didn't recognize you without the handcuffs," Roger said._

"_We could light the candle," she said, standing up with him again. She held up the candle again. Roger pulled out another match and lit it. "Oh, won't you light the candle?"_

"_Why don't you forget that stuff? You look like you're sixteen," Roger said._

"_I'm nineteen," she said. "But I'm old for my age. I'm just born to be bad!"_

"_I once was born to be bad," Roger said. He noticed her shivering again. "I used to shiver like that."_

"_I have no heat, I told you," she retorted._

"_I used to sweat," Roger said._

"_I got a cold," she lied._

"_Uh huh, I used to be a junkie," Roger said, not convinced._

"_Now and then, I like to," she said._

"_Uh huh," Roger said, smirking._

"— _feel good," she said._

"_Oh, here," Roger said, spotting the baggie on the floor._

"_What's that?" she asked eagerly._

"_Uh— candy bar wrapper," Roger said, quickly sticking the baggie into his back pocket so she wouldn't see he had it._

"_We could light the candle," she said, moving closer to him. Roger put out the light with his fingers. "Oh, what'd you do to my candle?"_

"_That was my last match," Roger said innocently._

"_Our eyes will adjust, thank God for the moon," she said._

_Roger sat down in a chair. "Maybe it's not the moon at all? I hear Spike Lee is shooting down the street."_

"_Bah humbug. Bah humbug," she said. He sat in a chair and she began to play with his hands._

"_Cold hands," he whispered uncomfortably._

"_Yours, too," she said. "Big, like my father's." She pulled him out of his chair. "Do you want to dance?"_

"_With you?" Roger asked, as she started to dance with him._

"_No," she said sarcastically, "with my father." She twirled herself around once._

"_I'm Roger," Roger said._

"_They call me, they call me Mimi," she said, walking slowly around Roger, her mouth close to his shoulder. Then she pulled the small baggie of white powder out of his back pocket, shook it temptingly in front of his face, and then made a sexy exit, closing the door shut behind her._

"Wow, Mimi sounds really sweet," Elise said.

"She is," Roger said. "I wish you could meet her, but she's in Mexico with her family, going through rehab. She writes sometimes, but not much. She and I had a huge fight before she left. I hope she isn't still angry with me."

"I bet she isn't, Roger, that was a long time ago," Elise said, caressing his chest. "I'm sure she's seen straight and forgiven you. If you're worried about it, you could always write or try and figure out how you can call her. I bet she misses you."

Roger nodded. "Maybe I will," he said.

"Good," Elise said. "Was there anyone else as special as Mimi back then in your life?"

"Yeah," Roger said, smiling, "Angel. Angel's hard to describe. She was flawless. I have not seen Collins as happy with anyone as he was with Angel. They were perfect together. I can't even begin to describe her, except that she has the best damn legs this side of Manhattan. Angel was a cross-dresser."

Elise smiled and nodded.

"Angel and Mimi both persuaded me to get out of the loft again and into real life," Roger said. "Angel persuaded me to go to a Life Support meeting and Mimi and I celebrated New Year's Day 1990, together."

"What's Life Support?" Elise asked.

"Life Support is a support group mostly for people with AIDS," Roger said. "But it's not just AIDS-supportive; it's for coping with life, hence its name. If you want, you can come sometime. I haven't gone in months, I need to go again. It might, you know, help you cope with your friend, Charlie, being sick, and with me."

Elise nodded. "I'd like to go sometime," she said. "When am I going to be able to meet these amazing friends of yours?" Elise asked.

"Tonight, if you want," Roger said. "I've wanted to introduce you to them forever, but an opportunity hasn't come up. You already know Mark, you work with him."

Elise nodded. "I would love to meet the rest of them," she said.

"Maureen and Joanne are living in San Francisco, but we can at least give them a call," Roger said.

"OK, sure, let's go do that," Elise said, smiling at Roger.

"OK," Roger said. He stood up with her and wrapped his arms around her. Her head rested in that spot on his chest where she fit perfectly. "Hey, baby?"

"Yes?" Elise asked him.

"Thanks for not judging me, not being angry and stuff," Roger said.

"Of course, Roger," Elise said. "I mean, you made mistakes, but you paid for them. There's no use paying for them or punishing yourself the rest of your life."

Roger nodded. "Elise?" he asked, looking down at her.

"Yes?" Elise asked again, looking up at him.

"I love you," Roger said, smiling.

Elise smiled back. "I love you, too, Roger," she said. She leaned in and kissed him passionately.

* * *

"Hey, Collins, can you meet Mark and me at the Life in ten minutes?" Roger said, on the phone ten minutes later. "I want you to meet someone."

"Is this the mystery girl you've been dating?" Collins asked.

Roger chuckled. "Yes, her," he said. "OK, see you soon." He turned to Elise. "Hey, we're going to the Life for dinner tonight. Collins wants to meet you. Of course, Dominic can come, too."

"Great," Elise said. "I've wanted to meet Collins ever since you first told me about him."

"He's really excited to meet you," Roger said in a sing-song voice, smiling.

Elise grinned and took Roger's arm. "Well, then, let's not keep him waiting. Does Mark know?"

"I'm sure Collins will tell him," Roger said. "You ready then?"

"Yes, I think so," Elise said.

"Don't worry your pretty little head," Roger said. "Collins will love you."

"How do you know?" Elise asked, as they walked out the door to her Porsche.

"I know he'll love you because I do," Roger said. He smiled.

"Mm," Elise said, leaning her head against his shoulder before going around to the driver's side and getting in the car. "I love you, too. We gotta pick Dominic and Sophia up from the park before we go. I'll tell Sophia she can have the night off."

"Sounds great, baby," Roger said, smiling.

They arrived at the Life and saw that Collins and Mark had already got a table. Elise tried to smile through her nerves.

"Relax, sweetie, it'll be fine," Roger whispered, kissing her temple before they entered the café. "Hey, Collins," he added to Collins, "this is Elise. Elise, this is Collins."

Roger pulled out a chair for Elise to sit in as Collins said, "So you're the mystery woman Roger's been dating."

Elise smiled. "I am," she said, "although I didn't realize I was so much a mystery." She shot Roger a quizzical look. "It's nice to meet you, Collins."

"It's nice to meet you, too, Baby girl," Collins said.

"Baby girl?" Elise asked.

"Oh, um," Collins said awkwardly, suddenly realizing of course Elise would not know why he called her that, "it's an affectionate term I call the women in my life."

"It means he likes you," Roger whispered. Then he said to Collins, "Sorry, man, but she's gonna have to turn you down."

Collins laughed and turned his attention to Dominic. "And who's this little man?" he asked.

"Dominic," Dominic said.

"Hi, Dominic, I'm Collins," Collins said, holding out his hand for Dominic to shake. Dominic took Collins' hand in his own, turned it a couple different ways, then dropped his hand, not knowing how to shake hands. Collins laughed and looked at Elise. "He's adorable, Elise."

Elise smiled. "Thank you," she said.

"You want anything to drink, Baby girl?" Collins asked.

"Oh, Collins, really, you don't have to," Elise said awkwardly.

"Oh, but I insist," Collins said.

"Well, all right, then," Elise said, "I'll take lemonade, please."

"And what would you like to drink, buddy?" Collins asked Dominic.

"Lemonade, too," Dominic said.

"Please," Elise reminded him.

"Please," Dominic said, smiling innocently.

"All right, two lemonades, coming right up," Collins said, as he flagged down a waiter.

The get-together lasted until Dominic started to yawn, getting tired. It was nearly eight p.m. and Elise didn't want him getting cranky, so she called the gathering to a halt.

"Sorry, everybody," she said, "but my baby boy's gotta get to sleep. It was nice to meet you, Collins." She smiled at him.

"You, too, Baby girl," Collins said, as Elise picked the sleepy boy up into her arms. "Good night, little man."

Dominic smiled sleepily, then fell asleep in his mother's arms as she walked out of the café to her car with Roger.

* * *

_I hope you guys liked it. Please review. I love feedback. Thanks. I will update again around March 20, the last couple days of my spring break, depending how my spring break goes. It looks like my plans are finally starting to solidify, but we'll see. Believe me, I'm just as impatient to update as you guys are. Since I have it all written up, having to wait a week to update each chapter, like I had originally planned, is hard even for me to do. Things will quickly start to pick up speed and become more intense, especially by chapters 7, 8, and 9, so brace yourselves. Thank you kindly again for reading._


	6. Coming Home

I know I said I wasn't going to update for another week, but I've been dead bored at home today, with no one around to hang out with or talk to, so I decided to update to give myself a little something to do. This chapter is pretty long, but I didn't want to shorten it any or put anything into another chapter, because everything in it is so important. The title doesn't relate to the entire chapter, since it has two important events in it, but it was the title that refers to only one of them that I liked best. You'll see. We are working our way toward the climax of the story, which will begin in the next chapter. I'm going to post the climax chapters all at once, so you guys don't have to wait for anything. Happy Reading.

* * *

**Chapter Six – Coming Home**

Two weeks later, Roger picked up the phone and called Joanne.

"Hey, Jo," he said, "I'm in need of a favor."

"What's up, Roger?" Joanne asked.

"Well... I want to find Mimi," Roger said. "I know she's with family in Mexico City and I'd like to get in contact with her, at least. Is that possible?"

"Sure. I mean, it's sort of a long shot," Joanne said, "but as long as you know where she's living, then it should be easy."

"OK, so how much do I owe you?" Roger asked.

"Don't worry about it," Joanne said. "You are more than likely not the only one who wants her to come home. It's just a favor."

"A really expensive one," Roger muttered.

"Don't worry about it," Joanne said firmly. "I'll start working on finding her right away. I'll let you know as soon as I know anything."

"Thanks, Jo, see you," Roger said, and he hung up.

* * *

Three weeks later, Joanne called Roger's cell phone, when he and Elise were having coffee and breakfast with Dominic.

"Roger, you aren't gonna believe this," she said.

"You found Mimi?" Roger asked.

"Better," Joanne said, "We're paying for her to fly back home this weekend. She even wants to move back."

"Oh, wow, Jo, that's... soon," Roger said. He hung up the phone and looked at Elise.

Elise was confused. "Wait, what's going on?" She had heard Joanne's voice coming from the earpiece, but couldn't make out what she said, so the one-sided conversation had confused her.

"Joanne tracked Mimi down and she's coming home," Roger explained.

"Oh," Elise said, a quizzical look on her face, "how come you didn't tell me?"

"I forgot," Roger said honestly. He had been so excited and nervous about the idea of Mimi coming home, that he had completely forgotten to tell anyone. "Sorry."

"No worries," Elise said. She kissed him. "Congratulations. I'm happy for you."

"Thanks," Roger said, smiling. "I've missed her. But hey, it isn't going to be... weird or anything for you, is it?" he added.

"No, why would it be weird?" Elise asked. "Zero weirdness."

"Good," Roger said, smiling and holding her close. "You'll like her."

"I bet I will," Elise said, "since you do." She smiled, too, and held Roger close.

* * *

Roger paced around and ran his fingers nervously through his hair as he, Elise, Mark, Collins, and Dominic waited at La Guardia airport for Mimi's plane to land. When it finally did, Roger's mouth broke into a wide smile, as she came running toward them through the baggage claim.

"Roger!" she yelled happily, running over to hug him.

"Mimi," Roger said breathlessly, grinning and hugging her tightly. "I've missed you so much. How have you been?" He gave her a quick once-over and said earnestly, "You look amazing."

"Thanks. So do you," Mimi said, smiling brightly. "I feel amazing. I've missed you so much, too. Collins!" she squealed happily, hugging Collins tightly.

"Baby girl, you look so great!" Collins said, beaming at her.

"You look great, too, honey," Mimi said to him, smiling as she kissed him on the cheek. "Man, I am so glad to be home!"

"We're so glad you're here," Roger said to her.

"Who is this?" Mimi asked, turning to face Elise.

"Mimi, I'd like you to meet Elise," Roger said. "She's my girlfriend. This is her son, Dominic. He's three."

"It's nice to meet you," Elise said.

"It's nice to meet you, too," Mimi said, smiling and shaking Elise's hand. "Where are you from? Hi, Dominic, I'm Mimi," she added to Dominic.

"Hi, Mimi," he replied. "That's a pretty name."

"Aw, thank you," Mimi said, smiling and hugging him. "I think your name is pretty cool, too."

"Well, I was born in France, but we immigrated to America when I was six months old. So being raised in New York City, I consider it my hometown," Elise said.

"I thought I heard an accent," Mimi said, smiling. "It's great to meet you. How long have you two been going out?"

"Almost four months," Elise said.

"Well, I'm happy for you," Mimi said.

"Thank you." Elise smiled at Mimi.

"Where are Maureen and Joanne?" Mimi asked, looking around.

"They're living in San Francisco," Roger said. "They hope to start a family there. I think Mo wants to adopt."

"Aw, that's so sweet," Mimi said, smiling. "Can we call them? I haven't talked to them in so long..."

"Of course," Roger said. "Jo was the one who tracked you down, anyway, so I'm sure Mo knows you're back in town. Most likely, she'll want to hop a plane and come see you herself."

Mimi laughed. Roger realized how much he'd missed her laughter these past several months. "I can't wait to catch up with her," Mimi said.

"Should we go to the Life to celebrate your return?" Elise asked Mimi.

"Couldn't have put it better myself, Baby girl," Collins said.

Then the group turned and headed to the Life Café to celebrate Mimi's return and her successful return to health with a night of partying and being together.

* * *

"Hey, baby?" Roger asked Elise, a few days before their six-month anniversary. "What do you say to you and me going to Coney Island for the weekend?"

"Really, Roger?" Elise asked, surprised. "That's our six-month anniversary."

"Yeah, so I was thinking Sophia or Mimi could watch Dominic for the day and we could go together and have some fun," Roger said.

"Roger, I have fun with you, no matter where it is," Elise said, smiling.

"So what do you say?" he asked. "Of course, if you want, we can bring Dominic along. I wouldn't mind riding some of the kiddy rides with him." Roger grinned.

"I say yes and let's call Sophia and let her know," Elise said.

"Great, baby," Roger said, smiling and holding her close.

* * *

"Baby, are you gonna eat that?" Roger asked Elise, who held the ball of cotton candy. They were walking the boardwalk, eating corn dogs for dinner. Elise had bought some cotton candy to eat, she had never had it before, but after one bite, had found it to be disgusting and hadn't wanted any more.

"Ugh, no," Elise said. She handed it to him and he tore a huge chunk of it off with his teeth. She scrunched up her nose. "How can you eat that stuff? It is pure sugar and so bad for you."

"Makes me sweeter," Roger said, smiling coyly at her.

"You're already sweet," Elise said, linking her arm through his and leaning against him.

"Baby, will you go with me on the Cyclone?" Roger asked her.

"Uh, definitely not," Elise scoffed. "I'm afraid of roller coasters."

"No way," Roger said, "really?" Elise nodded. "But you'll be with me." Elise still adamantly refused. "All right, well, if you won't go on that with me, will you at least go on the Ferris Wheel with me?"

Elise took him by the arm. "OK," she said, "let's go."

"Good, because I have a surprise for you," Roger said, in a sing-song voice.

Elise laughed and squealed excitedly. "I can't wait," she said.

They ran together to the Ferris wheel and Roger got two tickets and they got into a seat. A worker came around and pulled the bar down over them and locked it and Roger and Elise waited for the ride to start. As the ride started to move backward, Roger leaned his head against Elise's shoulder and inhaled the sweet scent of her hair.

At the end of the second rotation, Roger pulled a small box out of his jacket pocket.

"Elise, I have something to ask you," he said.

"Yes, Roger?" Elise asked, lifting her head from his shoulder.

Roger held up the ring box and opened it, just as they were nearing the top of the rotation. "Elise Camille Ansell, will you do the honor of marrying me?"

Elise's hand flew to her mouth in shock. "I— um..." she stammered. She momentarily forgot where she was, then looked down as they crested the top of the rotation. "Yes, I will!" Then she shrieked and clung to Roger's neck as they went down the third time, Roger laughing hysterically the whole way.

After the ride ended, he helped her off, then slipped the ring on her finger and took her into his arms and kissed her deeply.

"I love you," he said to her.

Elise giggled. "I love you, too," she said, kissing him back.

* * *

Later that night, Elise went in to Dominic's room to see him. He was asleep, but he awoke when she stroked his silky golden hair.

"Hey, baby boy," she whispered.

"Mommy, how was Coney Island?" Dominic asked, rolling over onto his back and looking up at her.

"Coney Island was great, sweetie," Elise said. "I have something to tell you."

"What?" Dominic asked.

"Tonight, Roger asked me to marry him," Elise said. "That means he's gonna be your bonus daddy. Is that OK with you?"

"Yeah, of course it's OK with me!" Dominic said excitedly. He smiled, then looked confused. "Am I still gonna see Daddy?"

"Yes, sweetie, you will, every other weekend and for two weeks in the summer, like normal," Elise assured him. "Just go to sleep now, OK? I'll see you in the morning."

"OK. Night, Mommy, I love you," Dominic said. "Night, Roger."

"Good night, my sweet boy," Elise said.

"Night, buddy," Roger said.

Dominic rolled over to go back to sleep. Roger put his arm around Elise as she came out to the hallway. He had been watching. She nestled up close to him.

"So he approves," Roger said. "That's exciting. It was nice of you to get his input. I don't want him feeling uncomfortable with me."

"Thank you, Roger, that's very sweet of you," Elise said. "But I don't think you have to worry about that. He loves you just as much as me and his daddy. He's my little protector." She looked up at him. "Hey, how about you spend the night here tonight? Get away from the loft for a night?"

"Are you sure?" Roger asked. "What will Dom think?"

"Roger, we're engaged now," Elise said. "He will have to get used to Mommy sleeping with his bonus daddy, since we are going to get married."

"Hey, I like that term," Roger said seductively.

He picked her up and carried her into the bedroom. They lay down on the bed together.

"Good, because I do, too," Elise said. She went into the bathroom and changed into a pick lingerie nightgown.

"Hey, you look beautiful," Roger said in awe, his voice a few octaves lower than usual.

"You mean, for a model?" Elise asked.

"I mean, for a bride," Roger said, going over to her and taking her into his arms.

They lay down on the bed together in companionable silence. Roger leaned over and kissed her tenderly. Elise deepened the kiss. They broke away only when the need to breathe was high. Roger and Elise attacked each other's mouths in a playful, yet firm manner. They kissed each other on opposite lips, alternating dominance. Roger had stripped down to his boxers while Elise had been changing, so there was little need to remove any clothing.

"Do you have any condoms?" he asked her.

"In the nightstand drawer," Elise said.

Roger nodded, opened the drawer, took out a condom, opened the package, and put it on. Then he took Elise back into his arms and kissed her.

"Are you sure you're ready?" he asked her.

"Yes," Elise said. "Roger, I love you. You're gonna be my husband soon. I want to be with you."

Roger nodded. "I want to be with you, too." He began to make love to her. It was fluid and passionate and beautiful.

When they were finished, Roger lay next to Elise and held her slender frame next to his.

"I love you," he whispered, his mouth close to her cheek.

"I love you, too," Elise said.

She rolled partially over and leaned up and kissed him tenderly, running her fingers through his long curly hair. Then they fell asleep in each others' arms.

* * *

The next day, Elise invited Mark and the Bohemians over to her house, so she and Roger could share the big news.

"So what's the emergency?" Collins asked, as he walked into the loft. Mimi was with him; she was staying with him at his place.

"Well, it is two things, really," Roger said, as everyone, including Dominic and Sophia, sat down in the living room area. "First of all, I'm moving out of the loft."

Roger was expecting the reaction he got. "What? Why?" Collin and Mark asked simultaneously.

A look of comprehension and suspicion dawned on Collins' face, as his eyes darted to Elise and he saw the ring. "Oh, no way," he said. "I know what's up."

"Elise and I are engaged," Roger said, grinning.

Collins, Mark, Mimi, and Sophia beamed.

"Baby girl, that's amazing!" Collins said, hugging Elise. "I can't believe Roger's actually finally settling down."

"Chica, that's so great," Mimi said, bounding forward and hugging Elise.

"That's great, Elise, really," Mark said earnestly, smiling.

"I mean, it won't be the same without you, man," Collins said to Roger, hugging him and patting him on the back.

"But I also won't have been the first person to move out of the loft, either," Roger pointed out.

Roger was right. He felt ready to move out, away from the memories of April's suicide, Mimi's overdose and leaving to go to Mexico (even though she had now returned), to somewhere new, to start over. And it wasn't like he was leaving the country, not even the city. He would still be close to Collins and Mark and Mimi and everyone else, save for Maureen and Joanne in San Francisco.

"Well, whatever you decide, I'm happy for you," Collins said. "But I'm gonna miss you, man. Believe it or not, it's gonna be quiet around here without you."

"I'm probably gonna miss it around there, too," Roger said.

"Me too, Rog," Mark said. "Hey, you should call Maureen and Joanne and tell them."

"Oh man, Mo's gonna be bad, isn't she?" Roger asked, grimacing.

"Yeah, especially since she hasn't even met Elise yet," Collins said, grinning.

"It'll be kind of crazy," Mark said. He went and got the phone and put it on speaker. "But a good crazy, I think." He dialed their number in San Francisco and squeezed his eyes shut and waited with bated breath.

Maureen picked up. "Hello?"

"Hey, Maureen, it's Mark," Mark said.

"Oh, hey, baby, how are you?" Maureen asked in a babyish voice.

"I'm good, I'm good," Mark said, blushing at the others laughing silently at him. He wished Maureen would stop calling him that; after all, she and Joanne were working out quite well now, after counseling and a lot of talking. There was no need for her to continue speaking to him in such a flirtatious manner. "Hey, I'm calling because Roger has good news. Put us on speaker, will you?"

"Sure, hang on." Mark heard a click. "OK, you're on speaker. What's up, Roger?"

"Well, Mo," he said, "there's someone here I want you to meet. Mo, Jo, meet Elise."

"Hi, Maureen, Joanne," Elise said.

"Ooh, she has an accent," Maureen said excitedly. "Is that French?"

"Yes," Elise said. "My last name is Ansell. I model for Ralph Lauren."

"Ooh," Maureen squealed, "how did you two meet?"

"My son ran into Roger on the street, actually," Elise said.

"Aw, you have a son," Maureen asked, sounding delighted, "how old?"

"Dominic will be four in December," Elise said.

"Well, if that isn't the cutest thing in the world," Maureen cooed. "I'm happy for you two."

"There's more, Mo," Roger said, coming back into the conversation. "We're engaged."

Silence, then Maureen shrieked happily.

"Oh, my God, Roger!" she squealed. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"Mo, we only got engaged yesterday," Roger said, laughing. "You two are the third and fourth people to know. Next up are my parents and Mark's."

"Oh man," Mark groaned, "my mother's going to revolting."

"_Your _mother, Mark?" Roger said pointedly, grinning. "_I'm _the one who's engaged and they haven't even met her yet. We gotta do that and fast."

"Roger, it'll be a few, maybe several, months before the actual ceremony can be performed," Elise said, "assuming it isn't just City Hall. We'll have time." Roger nodded.

"Well, it is great to meet you, Elise," Joanne said, "unofficially. Next time, I won't let Maureen do all the talking. Call us with the date and we'll fly in for the ceremony and to meet you officially."

"Sounds great, Joanne," Elise said. "It was great to meet you unofficially."

"Bye, Mo, Jo," Roger said, and he hung up the phone. "Well, that went well."

"You're surprised?" Collins asked. "Mo was bound to go happy ballistic on you getting married."

Roger smiled and hugged Elise close. "I'm so happy right now, I could burst," he said, nuzzling her hair with his nose.

"Me too, Roger, but don't," Elise said, holding out her arm so Dominic could join in on the group hug.

* * *

"Hey, Elise," Mark said, "do you think you could help me with something?"

Elise, Roger, Dominic, Mimi, and Collins had hung out at Elise's house all day, a week later, celebrating Roger's official moving out of the loft into Elise's house.

"Sure, Mark, what's up?" Elise asked him.

"Not here," Mark said, shaking his head. He beckoned to her and she followed him into the kitchen.

"I'd like to take you to Tompkins Square Park," Mark said, lowering his voice, "to do a little... project. I'd like to photograph you to make a collage of sorts for Roger, as a wedding gift. I'll have a hairstylist and make-up artist and everything borrowed from Ralph Lauren. I know it's rather spontaneous, but..."

"No, Mark, it's a really sweet thought, thank you," Elise said. "Let's do it."

"OK, cool," Mark said. "So meet me tomorrow morning at the loft and we can have breakfast, then go to the park and do the photo shoot? It might take several hours, maybe even all day, depending on the weather and crowds and stuff."

"Sure, I'll let Roger know. He and Collins can spend the day with Dominic and give Sophia the day off. He and Dom would love that," Elise said.

"Great," Mark said, smiling, "thanks, Elise. Want to go back out to our family now?"

"Yes, please," Elise said, smiling at him and going back out to their family in the living room.

* * *

_I know this chapter was different than the rest of them, but I wanted a family scenario and to bring Maureen and Joanne a little bit back into the story. Their pairing isn't a major part of this story, but they are still just a phone call or letter away. And I think it was just like Maureen to hog the phone, don't you? And I've wanted Mimi to return, happy and healthy, ever since hers and Roger's argument earlier in the story about her entering rehab in Mexico. A picture of happy, healthy Mimi (my first Mimi since becoming a Renthead, and third-favorite of the portrayals I've seen, Rosario Dawson) is below this author's note. And I bet you guys saw an engagement coming, didn't you? If you did, ha ha, you know me too well!! LOL.  
_

_This chapter is building up to something really big, the climax of the story, which will be posted up soon. All three climax chapters will be posted up at once, starting around Thursday, I think. We'll see. If I have nothing to do, I'll update sooner. Thanks for reading. Don't forget to review! Thank you kindly. I'll update again soon. The climax chapers will probably be posted up this coming weekend, so keep an eye out for them._

_A happy, healthy Mimi, returning clean and sober from rehab in Mexico: _http:// www. instablogsimages .com /images/ 2008/ 01 /28/ rosario-dawson_191 .jpg _(no spaces, of course)_

_If any of the links do not work or are broken or anything, let me know and I will do my best to remedy this ASAP. Thank you._


	7. How Did We Get Here?

I decided to update the three climax chapters tonight, because tomorrow will be kind of busy for me and I may not have Internet for most of the weekend. So here you guys go.

Pictures of Elise's photo shoot, as to clothing and such, are at the end of this chapter, in the author note, in case you're interested in seeing what they all look like. Just in case you guys were wondering, her original photo back in chapter 1 is from an ad in a magazine I saw several months ago. I can't remember what the magazine or modeling company was, but it was a female model lying on a horse. I loved it from the first moment I saw it, but unfortunately I don't have the page anymore. :(

The incident in this chapter is loosely based off a recent true life event from my own life. There are also some references to and borrowings from the _House, M.D. _episode, season 3, episode 22, "Resignation", which I don't own. Mark fans, these next two chapters will be rough for you. This is your only warning.

* * *

**Chapter Seven – How Did We Get Here?**

Elise sat in a chair and got her hair done by a professional hairstylist, Cameron, while Mark pulled out his camera and equipment, to get ready to photograph her for his next Ralph Lauren photo submission. He was going to be with Elise all day in Tompkins Square Park, photographing her in various outfits and with different hairstyles, for pictures for the collage for Roger, a wedding gift from him. He had to pick his locations carefully, so as not to disturb the other families who were spending time in the park, and vise versa.

They had set up a small tent quarters in the park to be Elise's dressing room. Ralph Lauren had also provided several props. There would be about ten minutes between each picture taking, for Elise to get her hair and make-up redone and change her outfit. While they were busy all day, Roger, Mimi, and Collins were spending the day with Dominic and Chris, whom they had officially met that morning, going to a movie and to the Brooklyn Zoo.

"OK, Elise, I want you to put your hands on your hips and one leg up on the bench there," Mark said, pointing to the bench, "and give me a serious look." He snapped the picture. "Great."

Elise quickly changed and had her hair redone. She was now dressed in a floor length, light maroon, form-fitting dress. It was so long her shoes could not be seen (but she wasn't wearing any anyway).

"All right, now swing your hips to the right, drape your right arm over your head, and rest your left hand with your arm curved against your left hip." Mark lifted the camera. "Relax your right hand, just let it hang, but keep a little tension, so it doesn't look limp."

Elise did as she was told and Mark snapped the picture. "Great. Now turn around and look at me, resting your chin lightly against your chest, but still facing me."

Elise did and Mark snapped that picture as well.

"OK, turn sideways, look to the right at me. Left arm at your side, I can't see it from this angle, but that's fine. Bend your right arm to about forty degrees." Elise, dressed this time in a bright red sports bra and short-shorts, bent her arm and faced Mark. He smiled encouragingly at her. "Good, now, slight pout of your lips, but relax the rest of your face."

Elise pouted her lips slightly and Mark snapped the picture.

"These are great pictures, Elise. You're doing wonderfully," Mark said to her, talking faster than normal.

But Elise didn't notice. "Thanks, Mark," she said. "What next?"

"We're going to do a close-up of your face and arms, so go put on that forest green halter top. You can wear whatever you want for pants and such, we won't be seeing anything past your shoulders," Mark said, talking even faster than before. Mark's head spun for a second, but he steadied himself.

Elise nodded. "Mark, you OK?" she asked, walking over to him.

"Yeah, I'm fine; it's just my— my head feels funny. OK, well, let's get started, shall we?" Mark spoke just as quickly as before.

"Are you sure?" Elise asked. "You never talk this fast."

"I— I don't know. I can't— I can't," Mark said. "I'm..." He put his hand on his chest. "I feel like my heart's gonna explode."

"Is something wrong?" Elise looked at him with concern.

Mark lifted up his chin and tried to get a read of his pulse, but had no luck. "Damn it."

"Here, let me," Elise said kindly. She placed two fingers on his carotid artery and watched the watch on his wrist for time while she counted his pulse. "Your heart's racing."

"I know," Mark said.

After fifteen seconds, Elise said, "Oh my... forty-six." She looked at him worriedly.

"Forty-six?" Mark asked her, aghast.

Elise nodded. "Forty-six times four is… one-eighty-five," she said, alarmed.

"One eighty-five," Mark echoed, shocked and confused, "one eighty-five... One eighty-five?" Elise still had not taken her eyes off him. He looked up at her. "I'm just going to sit for a second and review these pictures while you change."

"OK, if you're sure you're OK," Elise said. Mark nodded again and she went into the tent.

Mark leaned over and put his head between his legs and fanned himself with his hand, while he waited for Elise to change and come back out.

Elise quickly changed into the tank top and pulled on a pair of sweatpants and went back out to Mark. With the way he was acting, she hadn't wanted to leave him in the first place.

When she came back out of the tent, Mark was laying sprawled-out, face-down on the ground by his camera. He had fallen from the bench and collapsed.

"Oh, my God, Mark!" Elise exclaimed. She bolted over to him and turned him over. "Mark! Mark! Talk to me!" When she didn't get a response, she placed her ear on his chest to listen for a heartbeat and breathing sounds, but he had already stopped breathing. Elise looked around wildly for help. "Somebody help!" she yelled. "Somebody help, please!"

A man rushed over and knelt down next to Elise and Mark.

"What happened?" he asked quickly.

"I don't know," Elise cried. "I'm Elise. I'm a model and Mark's my photographer. I came out of my tent and he was lying on the ground. He collapsed. He isn't breathing." She began to cry and hyperventilate. "Please help him!"

"Elise, calm down," the man said. He put his hands together and started to do compressions. In between thrusts, he instructed, "Get a cell phone, if you have one, and call 911. We need to get him to the hospital."

Elise nodded and dialed 911 on her cell phone, scared. When the operator picked up, she said, "I'm in Tompkins Square Park and my friend collapsed. He isn't breathing. We're doing CPR. Please get here!" She stayed on the line with the operator until told she could hang up, then she looked back at the man. "Any change?"

"None," the man said, and he leaned over and gave Mark two rescue breaths after another round of compressions, after checking for a pulse and not finding one.

Elise never left Mark's side and the man continued to do compressions until the paramedics arrived.

"I have to go with him," Elise said. "Our family has to know."

"What relationship are you to him?" the paramedic asked.

"I'm his best friend's fiancé. They're practically like brothers, they've known each other since pre-school," Elise said.

The paramedic nodded. "You can ride up front with our driver," he said quickly, and he went back to working on Mark.

Elise, her throat choked up, nodded, and went to sit up front with the driver after thanking the man who had performed CPR on Mark until the paramedics had arrived. The entire ride to Bellevue Medical Center, Elise wondered how Mark was doing, if he was OK. She knew, when they got there, she had to call Roger and the others and let them know what was going on. But as of this point, not even she knew.

_

* * *

_

Fifteen minutes later...

Roger rushed into the waiting room to find Elise sitting in a chair, a blank look on her face. She didn't seem to be taking in what was going on around her.

"Elise," he said, taking her into his arms. She still said nothing. "Baby, I'm so sorry." He paused for a moment, then said, "Please say something."

Suddenly, Elise broke down and cried.

"Baby..." Roger said, holding her close. "Talk to me. Tell me what happened."

"We were doing the photo shoot in the park and he started acting weird; he said he felt like his heart was gonna explode," Elise sobbed. "His heart was beating really, really fast. Then I came back out from my tent quarters, my changing room, and he'd collapsed. I never should have left him in the first place." She broke down and cried, as Roger held her and waited for her to calm down. When she did, she went on, "Some random guy helped me with CPR while we waited for the paramedics. I don't know anything more at this point. I'm so sorry for not calling sooner, but I wanted to available to get any updates, especially if he didn't make it..."

Roger held Elise tightly. "Shh, easy, honey," he soothed. "The doctors will know more soon and can give us an update. Until then, let's just call Collins and try to stay calm and wait until we know more, OK? I told him I'd go and see that you were OK and I'd call him."

Elise nodded and pressed herself into his strong frame, tears still streaming down her cheeks.

* * *

It was not ten minutes after Roger made the call that Collins and Mimi showed up. He and Mimi immediately came over and hugged Elise and Roger.

"It'll be OK," Collins said, hugging Elise. "He's a fighter, he's a stubborn guy. We just have to be there for him."

Elise and Roger nodded. "We should call Mo and Jo," Roger said, "tell them what's up; they'll probably wanna fly in from San Francisco to see him once he wakes up."

Roger nodded. "I'll do it," he said.

"No, man, it's OK, I will," Collins offered, smiling bravely. "You two need to stay here and wait for the doctor."

Roger bit his lip, but nodded. Collins went to go make the call. He was back ten minutes later, still on the phone.

"Jo wants to talk to you," Collins said to Roger.

Roger nodded and took the phone. "Hey, Jo," he said.

"Hey," Joanne said. "How are you doing?"

"I'm all right; scared as hell, but Elise was the one who saw the whole thing go down. She's a mess," Roger said.

"I'm so sorry, Roger. We wish we could be there," Joanne said, sounding teary-eyed.

"I know. It's OK, it's a long way. You're on the other side of the country," Roger said. "Sometimes the only thing you can do is call."

"Yeah," Joanne said. "Have you talked to the doctor yet?"

"No, we haven't seen anyone," Roger said. "It shouldn't be too long; Elise said he's been admitted. They're probably still stabilizing him."

Joanne sighed. "Well, you can call us back when you know more," she said. "No use keeping the phone line tied up. You need to let Mark's parents and his sister know."

"I will," Roger said. "Thanks, Jo. Take care. See ya."

"You, too, bye," Joanne said.

Roger hung up the phone and gave it back to Collins and went back to holding Elise. In this moment, with all that was going on, even though she was fine, he was scared that if he let her go, he would lose her, too.

* * *

It was another two hours before they saw a doctor. Roger, Elise, Mimi, and Collins all stood up and went over to him when he called Mark's name.

"Come with me, please," the doctor said.

Elise looked up nervously at Roger; she didn't feel like this meant anything good. But they followed the doctor anyway, to his office down the hall. It was a standard-sized office, with off-white walls, tan carpeting, a desk and wheeled chair, two extra straight, hard-backed chairs, an examination table, and various posters on the walls, advertising pregnancy, STDs, cancer, and HIV/AIDS.

Roger, Elise, and Collins took seats in the chairs. The doctor spoke immediately.

"I'm sorry for making you wait so long," he apologized. "I'm Doctor Wyatt McMahon, the attending physician for Mark Cohen." The doctor shook each of their hands. Elise hadn't said a word since they arrived in the office.

"How is he?" Collins asked the doctor.

"He's stable," Doctor McMahon said. "Since you three are available, and I'm assuming know Mark the best, I need you to fill out this paperwork, since his next of kin are not here; it has medical history on it, next of kin, personal information, things like that on it. His next of kin has been notified and his parents and sister are making arrangements to come see him."

_Great_, Roger thought, trying hard not to roll his eyes. Now he would have to deal with Mr. and Mrs. Cohen and Cindy, whom, even though he felt bad for them right now, still annoyed him.

Roger finished filling out the paperwork with Collins, making sure they got everything filled out to the best of their ability, besides medical history, which they were going to leave for Mrs. Cohen to fill out, as she was Mark's mother and knew him best.

"Mark is alive, but unconscious. We've put him in a medically-induced coma," Doctor McMahon explained. "We did a heart catheter to check for blockage and found none. We think he has cardiomyopathy, a virus that attacks the heart muscle and weakens it, causing cardiac arrest. Sometimes this arrest is extremely sudden, like Mark's; sometimes it comes across as gradual heart failure. He's in the ICU. Would you like to see him?"

"Yes," they said together.

"Very well," Doctor McMahon said, nodding. "Follow me, then, please. Don't be alarmed, but he is attached to many wires and other equipment for medicinal purposes." They all nodded as Doctor McMahon pushed open double swinging doors. "In here."

Mark lay in one of the closest beds to the door, his eyes closed, his clothes removed, but covered with light white sheets. He was intubated with a ventilator, and had a heart and blood pressure monitor attached to his other arm. He had various needles with IV lines dripping into him.

"The next 24 hours are critical," Doctor McMahon said. "We will monitor him through the night and tomorrow, and if he remains stable, we will start bringing him out of his medically-induced coma, to determine the extent of the damage done to his vital organs." Roger, Elise, and Collins nodded. "So unfortunately, I'm sorry, but all you can do for now is wait. As soon as I know more, I will let you know directly."

"Thank you, Doctor," Roger said. Doctor McMahon nodded, then left the room. Roger looked at Mark worriedly and would not take his eyes off him. He was afraid he was losing his best friend, the one none of them thought they would see die before his time.

* * *

_Doctor McMahon is after Julian McMahon, whom I loved for eight years in Charmed, in case you guys are wondering. Things are quickly going to get emotional, so be prepared. That's all I'm going to say. Reviews are encouraging, so please don't forget to do that. Thank you kindly for reading._

_Elise's pictures:_

_Bench picture:_ http:// helenalpha. deviantart .com /art/ PICS2-86659356 _(no spaces)_

_Light maroon dress picture:_ http:// zoemon. deviantart .com /art/ pink-103034042 _(no spaces)_

_Sports bra picture:_ http:// darthangel2. deviantart .com /art/ model-46278544 _(no spaces)_

_If any of the links do not work or are broken or anything, let me know and I will do my best to remedy this ASAP. Thank you.  
_


	8. Goodbye Love

This chapter is short, compared to the rest of them, but it will be very emotional.

Part of this chapter is based on the House season four finale, "Wilson's Heart", references to which I don't own, but am borrowing, and also on a real-life event of the death of a friend of mine. I have been writing this story to help deal with his death. Go to the link on my profile and you'll see why the episode and song gave me inspiration. I also have to give credit to LostinKaos and the Mark death scene/chapter, chapter 18, "Farewell is Like the End" in "Will I Wake Tomorrow?", which somewhat inspired me to write the previous chapter and this chapter.

You more than likely WILL cry if you are a Mark fan! This is your only warning.

* * *

**Chapter Eight – Goodbye Love**

_This my escavation  
And today is kumran  
Everything that happens is from now on  
__This is pouring rain  
This is paralyzed_

_It's the sound of the unlocking and the lift away  
Your love will be  
Safe with me_

"Stacks", Bon Iver

The next morning, Mark's condition had not changed. Maureen and Joanne had flown in at two a.m. on a Red Eye flight. Everyone had alternated sleeping off-and-on when another had been awake to watch and wait for any updates. Elise never left Mark's bedside and no one else left his room. Mr. and Mrs. Cohen and Cindy had driven to the city to see their son, after hearing of the incident and his condition. Everyone sat around Mark's bed in the Intensive Care Unit and only ever moved to get coffee or food. Everyone slept in chairs or on the floor, in various uncomfortable positions, or in the arms of another. They were too many of them to bring in any roll-away beds.

Elise woke up around ten thirty and she immediately felt horrible for over-sleeping and neglecting caring for Dominic. It took her a moment to realize she was laid out across two chairs and that Roger was asleep on the floor, sitting with his legs pulled up, his head resting on the edge of one of her chairs. The position looked incredibly uncomfortable, yet he was fast asleep, still prepared to make her feel more comfortable than himself, he cared for and loved her that much.

Mimi was curled catlike up in another chair and Maureen and Joanne were asleep together on the floor. Mr. and Mrs. Cohen hadn't slept at all and were slowly walking around the room in a daze. Cindy was asleep at the foot of Mark's bed, her head underneath the end of the bed. It was the most packed room in the entire hospital.

Roger awoke when he felt Elise stir.

"Hey," he said softly, looking around at her, "how are you?" Elise shrugged silently. Roger cracked his neck and grimaced. "God, my neck is sore."

"Well, look at how you slept," Elise said softly, talking quietly so as not to wake the others. She gestured to the edge of the chair he had been sleeping against.

"Really?" Roger asked, looking at her with disbelief.

"Really," Elise said. She looked around sleepily, confused. "Where's Dominic?"

"Don't worry," Roger said, before she could begin to panic, "I called Chris and Sophia. They're looking after him until things straighten out here."

Tears immediately sprang to Elise's eyes. "You think they will?" she asked him, blinking back the tears.

"I can't say," Roger said, "but I don't know life without Mark, so he's got to make it, hasn't he?"

Elise shook her head and sighed. "I don't know," she whispered.

Roger sighed. "Hey, know what? Let's go get something to drink and go for a walk," he said. "It's stuffy in here. A walk will clear our heads." Elise hesitated. "Come on, we'll go to Central Park or Fifth Avenue or somewhere. Jo or Collins or somebody will call if there's any change or anything we need to know. It'll be fine."

Elise sighed again, then nodded. "All right," she said, and she left with him. They left a note, grabbed coffee and tea at the cafeteria, then went for a walk.

* * *

Twelve hours later, doctors had raised Mark's body temperature back to normal. Many doctors and nurses still worked constantly on him, but none more so than Doctor McMahon, who had quickly become a sort of companion to the Bohemians.

Mark had been very stable throughout the night and all day. His liver enzymes were showing improvement as well.

"His lungs are performing better today," Doctor McMahon said, "however, he remains on the ventilator. His potassium level was up, which seems to have helped stabilize his heart and blood pressure. His kidney function, however, has declined."

"What does that mean, for Mark?" Maureen asked.

"Declined kidney function is dangerous for Mark," Doctor McMahon said. "Renal failure, which has not occurred yet, is fatal."

Elise, Maureen, and Mimi whimpered and held onto each other consolingly, trying not to break down.

"Unfortunately, I don't have much else to tell you, except that he is on eight of the twelve original I.V. medications and we are trying to reduce them," Doctor McMahon said.

"Thank you, Doctor," Roger said.

"If there's anything we can do to make all of you more comfortable," Doctor McMahon said, "please let me or a nurse know."

"Oh," Roger said, "don't worry. We've lived through much worse than a roof over our heads, free food and heat."

Doctor McMahon smiled sadly, shook Roger's hand, then left the room.

* * *

The next evening, Doctor McMahon had more news, both good and bad.

"The good news is, Mark's respiratory status has improved," he said. "He remains intubated, but at a decreased rate and oxygen level."

"But that's good, right?" Mimi asked.

"Yes and no," Doctor McMahon said. "It is good, because oxygen is being transferred to his vital organs; however, the challenge is, the machine still has to do the breathing for him." The Bohemians nodded. "What good news I have is twelve hours ago, Mark was on eight I.V. fluid medications and now is on two. His blood pressure dropped when we stopped administering one, so we have restarted that medication and his blood pressure has stabilized." Doctor McMahon looked at them seriously. "However, the bad news is, he is in acute renal failure, which means his kidneys are not currently functioning."

"So he's dying?" Elise asked.

"If his kidneys do not produce urine, eventually toxins will build up in his body and he will become poisoned," Doctor McMahon said. He looked at Mr. and Mrs. Cohen and Cindy now, whom all had been listening closely and not saying anything. Mrs. Cohen, normally so chipper and talkative, had barely said a word since arriving with her husband and Cindy from Scarsdale. "We are still waiting for his body to show signs that he is responding to treatment. He remains in critical, but stable condition."

Tears flowed freely from Elise, Maureen, Joanne, Mimi, and Mrs. Cohen's eyes after the doctor spoke these words. Even the tearless were afraid they would soon have to prepare themselves.

* * *

The next morning was a hard morning for everyone. Mark's condition had worsened during the night. Still unconscious, the doctors took off the ventilator and he was unable to breathe on his own, so they put him back on the ventilator.

"His kidneys are not producing urine and his blood pressure is continuing to fluctuate. We are going to do an EEG this afternoon at three p.m. to measure his brain activity," Doctor McMahon said seriously to them. His face fell to one hundred percent sympathetic. "I'm sorry, but I think you all should prepare yourselves."

Even Maureen, normally so dramatic, remained still and did not fuss over Mark. But she, like everyone else in the room, thought it was totally unfair that the one completely well, good person in the group was being taken so suddenly from them, before his time.

* * *

At 6:30 that same evening, Roger and Elise moved simultaneously and lay next to Mark in his bed, still careful not to jostle any tubes, wires, or needles and lines. But they knew now that it didn't matter. Doctor McMahon was in the room and had come with some final news. The EEG had showed no brain activity. They knew Mark's spirit was already gone and the machines were just keeping his body alive. Mr. and Mrs. Cohen were going to make the final decision soon on whether to take Mark off the life support or not.

Elise leaned down and said softly into Mark's ear, "I'm sorry, Mark. I'm so, so sorry..." She gave into the sobs that were overtaking her body, closed her eyes, and cried.

From inside her head, she heard a voice, as though Mark were speaking to her, even though he lay unconscious in the bed beside her.

"_For what?" he asked her. "This wasn't your fault."_

"_I know, but if I had done something sooner... if I hadn't panicked..." _Elise thought, as though speaking back to him; even in her head, the sound of her voice cracked and broke. She wished she could see his face, his icy-blue eyes and his bright smile, but there was no image, no out-of-body experience, just his voice. She wasn't sure if she was imagining it or if it was real.

"_Shhh, you couldn't have done anything to prevent it. You did what you could to keep me alive as long as you did. I know you think it's unfair and that it hurts and you miss me already, but—"_

"_It wasn't your time, Mark, don't you dare say that!"_

"_Maybe it wasn't, but how do we know?"_

"_We don't, but it wasn't supposed to be you! Roger and Collins and Mimi are the ones that are sick! This isn't right! Just hang on a little longer. Please..."_

"_Elise, I'm tired." His voice seemed to be getting, if possible, even gentler, softer. "I think it's time... for me to go to sleep."_

"_No, no, please... Just a little longer..."_

"_Sweetie, we are always... going to want... 'just a little longer'. And I don't have longer; this is just in your head, you know that."_

"_We can't live without you, Mark. Roger told me himself, he doesn't imagine life without you, so you have to make it. He won't survive without you."_

"_He'll find a way. You all will. You won't hurt this badly forever."_

"_I'm not the one who will make the decision to... to let you go. I don't think your mom will be able to do it."_

"_Tell her it's OK."_

"_No, I won't, because it's not OK! Why is it OK with you? Why aren't you angry?"_

"_I don't want to leave this world angry. That's not... the last feeling... I want to experience."_

"_I don't want him to hate me."_

"_Roger? Elise, how can you say that?" Mark sounded genuinely surprised. "He can't possibly hate you. He loves you too much."_

"_He loves you so much, too, Mark. You're his best friend. You've been there for him through everything. He won't know how to exist without you. He won't survive without you."_

"_I know. That's why he can't hate you for me dying. There was nothing you could have done. You did the best you could. He loves you so much, Elise. You have to be there for him. Eventually, he'll come around and will be there for you, too, but it'll take a while. He'll make it. I know him."_

"_I tried. I'm so sorry, Mark..."_

"_I know, sweetie. It's OK. Go on. Go."_

Elise came out of her thoughts, realizing she was still crying. She didn't know how much time had passed. But when she looked up at Mrs. Cohen, who was crying, she knew the decision had been made.

Doctor McMahon walked forward and turned the life support machine dials off one by one. Mark took in one last breath and his body stiffened and became still. Then Mark was gone.

* * *

_For Wade. Rest in Peace, dear friend, Reunited in Paradise._

_Sorry it was so sad... I was crying as I wrote this... so I'm betting some of you are, too... Please review. Reviews are so encouraging. Thank you._


	9. Breakdown

This chapter will also be very emotional, just to warn you.

**

* * *

**

Chapter Nine – Breakdown

"Mark... Mark, no," Roger cried softly.

"I'm sorry, Roger," Elise said softly through her tears, looking over at him.

Grief pressed like bands against Roger's chest, making it hard to breathe. Taking in quick, short breaths, he got up from the bed and went over to the wall next to the door. For a long moment, he stood, as though frozen. Then suddenly, he clenched his fist and slammed it so hard against the wall they heard a nasty crunch: his hand had broken. Elise knew Doctor McMahon had heard and knew this as well.

"Damn it, Mark!" he yelled. "How could you just give up on me, on us, like that? How could you?"

"Roger, let me take a look at your hand," Doctor McMahon said kindly, walking over to him. "It sounded you broke it."

"No! Don't touch me!" Roger yelled, backing away from the doctor. He didn't seem to acknowledge whatever pain he was in. "I— I have to leave. I have to get out of here. I'm leaving. Now."

As Elise came over and tried to console him, he wrenched away from her touch, whirled around, and ran from the room, tears streaming down his face.

Only one thought ran through his mind.

_I can't believe this is... goodbye..._

Nobody had said a word about Roger's reaction. They had all known he would take Mark's death especially hard.

"Where do you think he's going?" Elise asked the others.

"He's going home," Maureen said softly.

"What do you mean?" Elise asked.

"I mean, he's going home, home, back to the loft," Maureen said.

"Somebody should go after him," Collins said quietly. "He's hurting so bad right now he won't know what to do. Has nothing to do with the fact that he just broke his damn hand and now he won't be able to play guitar for weeks. He's losing it."

"I'll go," Maureen said. "But in case I don't find him and he comes back, you guys stay here, OK?"

They nodded and Maureen left to go find Roger. She wasn't looking forward to what she'd find.

* * *

It didn't take her long to get to East Village and the loft. Walking up the stairs, she realized it was quiet, too quiet. She thought about all the horrible losses they had had; first, April, who had killed herself, an act none of them would ever be able to forgive; then they had lost Angel, one of her best friends, to a terrible disease; then they had almost lost Mimi to the monster heroin, and she had eventually left and gone to Mexico. Now they had lost Mark, too, and he hadn't even been sick. The loft would hold no more occupants with Mark gone.

Maureen heard Roger yelling before she even opened the sliding door to the loft. He had already trashed the place; broken chairs, pictures still in their shattered frames, and more debris lay everywhere, destroyed by his relentless anger and grief.

He stood about twenty feet in front of her, still picking up anything he could reach and throwing it to destroy it, screaming with fury. He went into the kitchen area and, in a fluid motion, took out several plates and glasses and smashed them to pieces on the floor.

Maureen had had enough. She had to get through to him before he destroyed the entire loft, if he hadn't already. She ran up to him and grabbed his wrists to make him stop.

"Roger, stop it!" she yelled, inches away from his livid face.

Roger looked down at her, flinching in pain because she was grabbing his broken hand. Maureen never yelled. Never. It caught his attention and made him pause. He took a step back away from her, wrenching his hands out of her grip, and he felt another flash of pain. He stared wordlessly, motionlessly, at her, afraid if he moved, he would accidentally break her, too.

"What are you trying to do, kill us?" she yelled at him. Her voice cracked and became much softer, gentler and she looked imploringly at him and said firmly, through clenched teeth, "This isn't going to bring him back."

Roger looked at Maureen and spoke, his voice stricken with grief. "It wasn't his time, Mo," he said. "He wasn't chronically sick, like Mimi and Collins and I am. Why would God take someone so healthy and kind and _good _in such a harsh, sudden way? He should have taken someone else, me or Collins, but not Mark!" Roger's voice broke as he shed more tears. "Not Mark..." He fell to his knees and clutched his arms around himself, allowing Maureen to hold him as he cried bitterly.

"You protected each other, Roger, you looked out for each other," Maureen said, scrambling for the right thing to say.

"Then I failed him, Mo," Roger murmured, more tears streaming down his face.

"You did _not _fail him," Maureen said firmly. "There was nothing you could have done. If you had been in the park with him that day, you would have done CPR and tried to save his life, just like Elise and that other guy did. But even what she did couldn't save him. You being there wouldn't have made it any different. Don't blame yourself. You were his best friend. You made his life whole and good, so stop beating yourself and everyone else and everything up about it so much!"

"It hasn't even been a day yet and it already hurts so badly, Mo," Roger cried, wrapping his arms around himself. "I can't live without him. It hurts too much. I killed him, Mo."

"Roger Andrew Davis, you know that isn't right," Maureen said firmly. "That is the one thing you _did not _do. You _did not _kill him, do you understand? You _did not _give him that cardiomyopathy thing Doctor McMahon said he had." She gestured wildly with her hand, then placed it back gently on his shoulder. Her voice became a whisper. "You're not God, Roger."

"Well, then, if God did this to Mark, then I hate him!" Roger yelled.

Maureen closed her eyes. In his current state of mind, Roger would not realize, not only that it was not his fault, but also that he was not the only one suffering from the loss of Mark.

"Roger, he's in a better place now," Maureen said. "You heard what Doctor McMahon said. His soul was already instantly gone; they were just keeping his body alive. He wouldn't have wanted to be kept alive on a ventilator like that. We all wanted him to live, but he just couldn't." Maureen bit back her frustration with him. "Roger, please don't think you are the only one who's suffering here. We all miss him just as much as you do. For Christ's sake, I dated him for years. I miss him, too."

"Oh, so now I'm being selfish?" Roger snapped, getting up and turning away from her.

"I didn't say that," Maureen said firmly. She looked long and hard at Roger. "Roger, you know I didn't. Don't put words in my mouth. Calm down."

"Calm down? I can't calm down!" Roger screamed, and he whirled around. Maureen flinched and backed away, scared at seeing this side of him. She had never been scared of him, ever, until this moment, he looked truly dangerous. "My best friend is fucking dead from some virus and we don't even know how he got it! What if he was exposed to something? What if we _all _were? Are we next?"

Roger started raging around the room again, just as Collins came through the door. Roger picked up a vase off a nearby table and threw it at Maureen; it crashed to pieces right above her head, showering her with shards. She slid down the wall and recoiled away from the glass.

"Collins, help!" Maureen yelled.

Collins rushed in and grabbed Roger. "Roger, knock it off! Calm down, man," he said. He held him firmly, until finally he calmed down and was gradually consoled by him and Maureen, at least for the moment.

"What can we do, Roger?" Collins asked, looking down at him.

"We want to help you, sweetie," Maureen said quietly, also looking down at him.

"I don't know," Roger sobbed, tears streaming down his face. "I'm so lost..."

Then something occurred to Maureen. "Roger," she said, "you know how you're so good at writing songs as they come to you?"

Roger looked up. "Yeah?" he asked indifferently.

"Well, maybe you should write a song about this," Maureen suggested. "It may help you."

Roger shrugged. "I don't know, Mo," he said.

"Just try it," Maureen said.

"OK," Roger said. "Thanks, Mo. I'm sorry. If I hurt you, it wasn't what I wanted."

Maureen smiled and put her hand on Roger's shoulder. "I'm fine, don't worry," she said. "We should take you in and get that hand x-rayed. Doctor McMahon said he thought it broke when you smacked it against the wall."

"Yeah, I guess so," Roger relented, looking down at her. He almost laughed, then he finally gave in.

* * *

The next night, Independence Day, Collins went to CBGB's to watch Roger's show, but instead of finding him performing, he found him sitting at a bar stool. He wasn't drunk, but he looked truly woebegone.

"Roger, what are you doing here, man?" Collins asked, going over to him. "Aren't you supposed to be onstage?"

"I'm not singing tonight, Collins," Roger said. "It's a federal holiday. I have the night off."

"I can see that," Collins said, sitting next to him on another bar stool and getting a shot of stoli from the bartender. He didn't necessarily drink it this time; he just bought it to have something to hold, to have something to do with his hands. "Talk to me, man. This isn't like you."

"Of course this isn't like me," Roger snapped. "I'll never be _me_ again, now that Mark's gone."

"Roger, man, you know he wouldn't want you to drown yourself in booze," Collins said. "I know it hurts that he's gone. I knew him, too, remember? I miss him, too, OK? But you gotta figure out another way to help yourself. This isn't right and you know it. You should be at home with your amazing fiancé."

"I can't go home," Roger said heavily. "Elise cries all the time, like she's afraid or me or something. I can't stand seeing her like that."

"She needs you, man," Collins said. "She cries because she doesn't know you anymore, because you won't let her. She's trying so desperately hard to help you, can't you see that? You're shutting everyone out. You gotta go home, for her. You're gonna drink yourself to death here." He took the beer away from Roger.

"I know. It's just that everything is falling apart between us. I mean, one minute we were gonna get married, surrounded by our friends and family. The next..." he started, as tears welled up in his eyes.

"Mark wasn't there. I get it. I miss him so much, too. But you and Elise love each other. You can't let something like this tear you apart," Collins said, looking over at him.

"It's too hard, Collins," Roger sobbed, starting to cry.

"Roger, you know all she wants to do is try to help," Collins said. "You aren't letting her in. Let her in. Let her try and help."

Roger looked up at Collins. "OK," he said. "I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it," Collins said. "You just needed a nudge, that's all."

Roger smiled. "Thanks," he said.

"You're welcome," Collins said. He stood up. "Come on, let's go."

Roger nodded and followed Collins out of the bar.

* * *

Three nights later, Elise woke suddenly from a restless sleep. She realized Roger's side of the bed was cold and became confused. He had barely slept for days; when he did sleep, he had nightmares. He was barely eating. There had even been instances where he had questioned taking his AZT, but hadn't stopped taking it at her insistence. She knew his biggest fear was dying painfully, because he knew, someday, no matter when it was, he was inevitably going to die.

Elise got out of bed, put on her bathrobe, and went downstairs, thinking Roger was in the kitchen or that he might be watching TV in the living room or playing guitar in the music room or something. But he was nowhere to be found.

Panic flared in Elise's stomach. She took several deep breaths to try and calm herself, then went to the phone and called Collins. It was three a.m. and she felt bad about calling at such an hour, but she had to find him.

"Hello?" Collins' voice said sleepily.

"Hey, Collins, um, it's Elise," she said. "I'm sorry for calling so late, but Roger's gone."

"He's what?" Collins asked, alarmed. He sounded instantly awake.

"He's gone," Elise said. "I just woke up and he wasn't in bed. He's nowhere in the house. The front door was open."

"Baby girl, stay there; I'll be right over, OK?" Collins said firmly.

"OK. But Collins, please hurry," Elise pleaded.

Collins hung up and had arrived within ten minutes.

"Stay here," he said firmly, placing his large hands gently on her face. "I'll find him."

Elise nodded. "Be careful," she said.

"Always am," Collins said, smiling warmly, and then he left.

Elise went and sat down in her big Ottoman chair in the living room to wait for him to return with Roger.

* * *

Collins figured he knew where Roger had gone, but the loft was quiet and empty; he wasn't there. The day they had cleared out the loft of Mark's things, after Roger's destruction, had been an extremely hard day on all of them.

Collins sat down on the lumpy couch to give himself a moment to think.

Suddenly, a horribly suspicious thought came to his mind and he bolted out of the loft. He ran down the stairs to the alleyway across the street.

_No... It's impossible...  
_

There Roger stood, inches away from the Man, taking a small bag of heroin from him.

"Roger, don't!" Collins yelled. He ran over to Roger and grabbed him and the bag of heroin, pulled Roger away from the Man and said, "Roger, man, let it go."

Roger's grip on the heroin was like iron. Collins' eyes darted down and he saw the scar on Roger's hand from where he had broken it. He would carry that scar the rest of his life. But after several moments of Collins' persuasion, he let go.

"Come on," Collins said. He jerked Roger by his shoulders a few times and Roger came with him. He walked with Roger out of the alley and up the street, back to his flat. He sat Roger, who still had not said a word, on the couch and picked up the phone and called Elise.

"Elise, it's Collins, I'm at my place," he said. "I found Roger."

"Where was he?" Elise asked.

"I found him in the alley across the street from the loft," Collins said, "in The Man's territory."

"Who's that?" Elise asked.

Oh, Collins thought, of course Elise would not know who that was. Even in telling his life story to her, Roger never would have mentioned the name of his old drug dealer.

"His old drug dealer," Collins said.

"_What?_" Elise gasped. "Is he OK? Did he...?"

"No, I got it from him just as he bought it, luckily. If he had already cooked it, it would have been so much worse. He didn't shoot up," Collins said, "but he hasn't said a word, either. I'm sure he's really lost and disappointed in himself."

"I'm coming over," Elise said.

"What? No, Elise," Collins said. "Even Ican't figure him out right now. I don't know if it's a good idea for you to come over. I don't know what he's gonna be like when he snaps out of this daze."

"He's my fiancé, Collins!" Elise exclaimed. "If he won't listen to me, then who will he listen to?"

Collins sighed. "All right, come then," he said, frustrated. "But on your own head be it!"

"I'm on my way," Elise said, and she hung up. She had arrived in ten minutes. "Roger?" she called, looking around.

"In the living room, Baby girl," Collins said.

Elise rushed into the living room.

"Roger," she said breathlessly. She sat down on the couch next to him and put her arms around him. "What'd you do that for, huh? Scare the hell out of me?" She looked straight at him. "Talk to me, baby, please." Roger didn't say anything. "Honey, please say something. Say _something_. Anything!"

"What do you expect me to say?" Roger asked her finally, not looking at her, although he had not protested to her touching him.

"Talk to me... about why you chose to do this," Elise said, thinking carefully before she spoke. "I know you _didn't _do it, I'm not blaming you. I'm so glad you're OK. But there's also no denying what you almost did. But I want to understand so I can help you."

Roger looked at her suddenly, his green globes ablaze with anger, grief, and regret.

"Have you ever lost your best friend," he asked, his voice like a slap in the face, "the one person who was there through everything since grade school; the one who forced you to get clean and sober and live again?"

Elise blinked back tears. She had never heard the kind, gentle, beautiful man she loved and was going to marry sound so angry, almost dangerous, before, and it scared her.

"No, I haven't," she said. That was all that needed to be said.

"Then you will never be able to understand," Roger said rigidly.

"I know I won't," Elise said, "but please remember that he was not the only one who was there for you. Collins, Mo, Mimi, Jo, me, we all were, too, still are. I love you so much. It kills me to see you hurting so much like this. I wish more than anything that I could make all the pain go away, but I can't. I can only love you and try to help." She looked down at her hand and held up her engagement ring he had given her to show him. "'Till death do us part', remember?"

"What can you do?" Roger asked, jerking out of her arms and standing up swiftly. "There is nothing that will change that he is dead."

Elise felt absolutely helpless, yet she could not take her eyes off him. "Do you not want me to try?" she asked. She started to choke up, but swallowed past the lump in her throat. "Do you not love me anymore?"

Roger froze, shocked by her answer, and Elise knew she had gotten to him. He turned back to face her and snapped, "How dare you ask me if I don't love you? You are the one who is standing there, judging me for something I didn't even do!"

"I'm not judging you," Elise said. "I'm just trying to understand why you almost set yourself back something like four years, after all your hard work, just throw it away! There are other ways."

"Why? Because the fact that Mark is gone is almost too much to bear," Roger growled, getting right up in her face. "The easiest way to escape it was to shoot up and you stopped me from doing it."

"Of course I did," Elise said, frowning at him. "Roger, you _know _how that goes." Her voice was stronger this time. "It wears off and the pain comes back tenfold. Then you need more and more, until it's suddenly become your whole life, your one and only... again." She stared imploringly at him. "Find the will to choose another way to help yourself. Mark wouldn't have wanted his best friend to shoot up because he's gone."

Roger was silent and Elise knew she had finally gotten through to him.

"Please, Roger, don't think you are the only one suffering here," Elise pleaded with him. "_I _was with him when he collapsed. He collapsed in front of me!" Her voice rose uncharacteristically. "Do you think I don't blame myself for his death? It's more likely _my_ fault than yours, if we must come down to blame. If I'd done something sooner, if I hadn't panicked, maybe he'd still be alive... Mimi, Mo, Jo, Collins, we are all hurting just as badly as you are."

"Elise, there is nothing you could have done. You heard the doctors," Roger said, his expression and voice softening. "There was nothing anyone could have done to save him."

"Then _stop blaming yourself_!" Elise said firmly. "Talk about it. Go to Life Support or something. You asked me if I wanted to go, for yours and Charlie's sakes, and I said yes. Well, now is your chance. We should all go. It would help, unless you'll agree to go to a real psychiatrist?"

"No," Roger said immediately. He had enough pride for two people.

"I didn't think so," Elise said, just as stubbornly. She crossed her arms over her chest.

"Fine," Roger muttered, "I'll go with you all to Life Support, not that it'll do anything for me."

Elise knew she should be happy he had agreed, that it was a huge accomplishment to get him to go to Life Support, but instead, she felt at a loss. She looked at Collins, who had not interfered or said a word the entire time, and he nodded encouragingly at her. She walked away from Roger, to give herself a moment to think. She was horrified to realize she had lost control and started crying.

She wiped away her tears and turned back to face him. "Thank you for agreeing to start with going to Life Support, baby," Elise said. She took him gently by the arm. He did not pull away. "Please, sweetie, it's late. You haven't slept for days. Let's go back home and go back to bed. Please," she begged him.

Roger nodded and placed himself beside her. Elise looked at Collins gratefully, smiled sadly, then left with her beloved safe by her side, safe in her arms.

As they lay in bed ten minutes later, Roger broke down and cried bitterly, releasing all his pent-up pain and grief. Elise gently caressed him until his sobs and tears subsided.

"I love you," she said softly into his ear. She wrapped her arms around him, curled her body close to his, and kissed him gently.

"I love you, too," Roger replied softly, before going to sleep.

* * *

_Please don't forget to review. Thanks so much to those who have reviewed so far, especially my awesome Renthead partner-in-crime beta, katetastic, and chocolateluvr. And also thanks to new reviewers, NYYbabe11, Misto4Ever, and heytheremeranda! __Thank you kindly for reading. No matter how long I plan on writing in the future, new reviewers are always so exciting and I'm grateful for y'all, really. Thanks. I'll update again soon, probably at the end of the week._


	10. The Heart Yearns

Sorry for the delay in posting, but I've been out of town this weekend and didn't have computer or Internet access. Here's chapter 10.

Just a little clarification: with Mark's condition and death, I took a very small liberty, as my friend Wade didn't die exactly as Mark did. Cardiomyopathy is instant cardiac arrest caused by a virus, and can happen with or without arterial blockage (Wade had none whatsoever). It can be genetic, but can also spring up in anyone at any time, with no warning. One of my stepmom's friends was in good physical shape and got it and lost seventy percent of her heart muscle overnight; she survived, however, my friend Wade did not. Mark's "heart attack-like" symptoms were to make his collapse flow slightly better with the story, but was not an actual heart attack. I don't want anyone to be confused, however I didn't want to mention it in earlier chapters, for sake of spoilers. So I hope that little explanation helps. If you guys are still confused, of course you are free to email or PM me to ask questions. I have done some research on this topic.

Moving on. In this chapter, Elise's surprise for Roger is based on the project Isabel Kelly (Julia Roberts) did in the movie "Stepmom" for Jackie Harrison (Susan Sarandon) with Jackie's two kids, Anna (Jena Moore) and Ben (Liam Aiken). If you watch the movie, at about half an hour left til the end, you'll see what I mean; it's a really cool project. The title in this chapter has a double meaning, in Roger's case, meant both for his love for Elise and his deep friendship with Mark and that he misses him so much, now that he's gone. Happy Reading.

* * *

**Chapter Ten – The Heart Yearns**

Roger hesitated outside the New York Community Center, Elise by his side. He looked nervous.

"What is it, sweetie?" she asked. "Are you nervous?"

Roger nodded. "I'm not sure I can do this," he said. "I'm... scared."

Elise brought his hands up to her mouth and kissed them, then cupped his face gently in her hands and caressed his face. "You can do this," she said. "It'll be OK. I'll be with you."

Roger looked down at her through weary eyes that were still full of love for her, although also still pained and grief-stricken.

"I know," he said. "I just... don't want to hurt... again. When does it ever end?"

Elise couldn't answer that. She herself didn't know. "I don't know, sweetie. Just give it a try and see if Paul can help you. Remember, it's a start," she said.

Roger nodded, looking extremely tired. He had been having nightmares almost every night, ever since Mark had died. "Baby steps, right?"

"Right," Elise said, smiling and holding him close.

"Don't let go," Roger whispered.

"I won't," Elise whispered back.

They entered the building, but instead of a group of chairs forming a circle, as was custom for Life Support, there was only three chairs: one each for Roger, Elise, and Paul.

Paul was already there, seated as though he had been waiting for them. When he saw them come in, he stood up and shook their hands.

"Good afternoon," he said, "I'm Paul. I know you, Roger, of course." He smiled at Roger, who nodded and halfheartedly returned the smile.

"I'm his fiancé, Elise," Elise said.

"It's nice to meet you," Paul said. He indicated to the other two chairs. Elise and Roger sat down and Paul began the session. "Well, first of all, let's begin by getting to know both of you. What do you do for work?"

"I'm a musician, although my band's been on hold for a while now," Roger said regretfully.

"And I'm a model for Ralph Lauren," Elise said.

"How long have you two been together?" Paul asked.

"About seven months," Elise said.

"If I may, have you set a date yet?" Paul asked.

"We haven't had a chance," Elise said. She looked at Roger. "Life sort of got in the way."

Paul raised his eyebrows at Roger, a silent prompt.

Roger sighed. "My best friend recently got sick and died," he said.

Paul nodded. "And that's why you're here today," he said.

It wasn't a question, it was a statement.

"Yes," Roger said. "I'm having a really hard time... moving on."

Paul was silently, listening intently.

"You might remember the guy who filmed Life Support meetings for a year or so?" Roger asked him.

"Oh yes," Paul said solemnly. "How did he die?"

"The doctors said a virus attacked his heart, instantly weakened his heart muscle, and he went into cardiac arrest," Roger said. "He was kept alive on life support for a few days, but his heart was too weak, so they took him off it and he died."

"I'm sorry," Paul said, looking at him sympathetically.

"Me too," Roger said. "I mean, he and I knew each other since preschool. I never imagined life without him." Roger's voice became gruffer as he choked up. He clenched his teeth and fists together and closed his eyes. "Now I have no choice."

"Can you tell me about growing up with Mark?" Paul asked.

"We were both from Scarsdale. Our grandparents had been toddlers together. He and I went to school together from when we were in preschool until college. His parents made him go to Brown to become a lawyer, but he wanted to go to NYU to become a filmmaker and get a Golden Globe or Oscar or something. We became roommates after college didn't work out for either of us."

"Why didn't college work out for you?" Paul asked.

"Well, it's my fault, really," Roger said. Elise elbowed him, but he ignored her. "When I got into drugs and got HIV, and then my girlfriend, April, killed herself for giving me the HIV. It was the worst part of my life, getting clean again."

Paul nodded. "Heroin withdrawal is extremely physically painful," he said.

"Then after I met Mimi and Angel, and they both died, I met Elise," Roger said, looking at Elise and smiling warmly. "Her son, Dominic, who is three, ran into me on the street one day. She has lunch with him when she's working and that was how we met. We started going out after she saw one of my shows. I asked her to marry me on our six-month anniversary."

"That isn't very long," Paul said.

"I know," Roger said. "But we love each other and I love her son like he is my own. I see no reason in putting off spending the rest of whatever life I have left with her." Roger lovingly intertwined his fingers with Elise's.

"But it wasn't long after that, that Mark died," Roger said. Elise laced her hand through his, knowing he would need moral support through this next part of his life story. "He was with Elise in Tompkins Square Park and his heart stopped and he collapsed. Some random guy did CPR on him while Elise called the paramedics, who did CPR on him for two hours afterward. He was very stable, but still critical, for a couple days, but then he went into renal failure and his condition worsened... until he died."

Tears formed in Roger's eyes and spilled over onto his cheeks. Elise put her arms around Roger and waited for the tears to subside, rocked him gently, silently, letting him calm down. She knew this was what he needed.

"I was filled with so much anger and grief and regret after he died, I didn't know what to do. I could barely function. I wasn't eating, sleeping," Roger said. "A week or so ago, I did the worst thing imaginable. I was so lost and in so much pain from Mark's death, the pain was almost too much to bear— still is— that I chose to set my progress back years and go buy heroin to shoot up with. I'll never forgive myself." He almost broke down again, but to prevent himself from sobbing and crying bitterly again, he looked down at Elise. "Collins found me and forced me to come to his place. Elise convinced me that what I'd done was wrong and convinced me to come talk to you, see if it helped." He looked at Paul.

"And do you think it is helping?" Paul asked.

"I don't know yet," Roger said.

"That's perfectly understandable," Paul said. "It might take several visits before you begin to feel comfortable with talking about it."

Roger nodded and they continued with the session.

* * *

Roger and Elise arrived home after the session and Elise took Roger into her arms and held him.

"I'm sorry, baby," she said.

"For what?" Roger asked.

"I haven't been fair to you," Elise said.

"You haven't had to be fair to me, baby," Roger said. "Look what I almost did. You have every right to kick my ass or something."

"I know, but you're right, I judged you and I shouldn't have," Elise said. "I'm sorry. You didn't do it, so it's fine."

"But we also can't pretend it didn't happen," Roger said. Elise nodded. "I'm sorry I shut you and the others out. I shouldn't have. It was selfish of me. And I'm sorry it took Paul to get me to see that."

"It's OK, Roger; you were dealing with a lot. I understand," Elise said. "Come on, let's go lay down for a bit or something, until Sophia comes back with Dominic and you have to go to CBGB's."

"OK, baby," Roger said, and he went with her into their bedroom to lie down.

* * *

"So how did it go with Paul today?" Sophia asked Elise that evening. Roger was playing at CBGB's for the evening, but would be back by eleven. Roger had quit performing for a few weeks after Mark's death, but with Elise's persuasion, had resumed performing again. It was helping him cope with Mark's death. Sophia, Elise, and Dominic were eating dinner together.

"It went well," Elise said. "I mean, it was rough at parts, when he was talking about himself, but I was there for him and he got past it and now he's gonna get more comfortable talking to Paul."

"Good," Sophia said. "I'm happy for you two. Happy, I mean, that he seems to be coming out of it."

"Soph, his best friend just died," Elise said. "It's gonna take a lot more than one therapy session to get my man back."

Sophia nodded. "If I can do anything, let me know, OK?" she said.

"Thank you, but don't worry about it," Elise said, hugging her. "By caring for Dom as much as you do, as much as you cared for me, your help is all I can ask for."

Sophia nodded understandingly and smiled.

* * *

Three weeks later, Elise awoke to the phone ringing. She rolled over and picked it up off the nightstand next to hers and Roger's bed.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Elise, it's Joanne," Joanne said.

"Oh, hey, Jo, what's up?" Elise asked.

"Did I wake you?" Joanne asked.

"Yes, but it's OK, I needed to get up anyway," Elise said. "What's up?"

"I have some exciting news," Joanne said. "Maureen and I are moving back to the city. I was able to get a transfer."

"Really? Oh, wow, Jo, that's great," Elise said. She shook Roger awake next to her and quickly relayed the news. "When do you move back?"

"In a couple weeks," Joanne said. "We were just in an apartment here, but things changed, so we've decided to move back. Besides, we still want to adopt and we can do that, living in the city and being near you guys, just as easily as we can here."

"Well, that's great, Jo," Elise said. "I can't wait to see you guys. If we can help out moving you back at all, let us know, OK?"

"OK. Sorry for waking you. I'll talk to you soon," Joanne said.

"No worries. Bye, Jo," Elise said, and she hung up.

"Wow, Mo and Jo are moving back. That's cool," Roger said, lying on his pillows with her.

"Yes, it's good," Elise said. "I know part of their reasoning for moving back is because of Mark, though," she added, softer.

Roger nodded sadly. "I can understand that," he said quietly. "After all, Mo dated Mark for a long time. They probably felt they were needed here."

Elise nodded. "It'll be good to have them back in the city, though," she said, "especially if they decide to adopt or have a child for real."

Roger nodded, smiled, and laid there with her until they decided to get up and seize the day.

* * *

A couple months later, Elise walked down to the recording studio, where she knew Roger was laying down some tracks for his band's upcoming album. He had talked about wanting to give it up, in his grief after Mark's death, but she had persuaded him not to, that it was truly his glory and that it could help him heal. Music would help him heal. She knew that and she knew he knew, too.

She smiled as she watched him singing in the recording room. He was really into it, and for the first time in weeks, she saw a part of him she hadn't seen in a while: he was truly happy, in the moment. He'd found his niche again.

Roger almost always sang with his eyes closed, but he saw her when he opened them for a moment. He finished singing the song he was on, then smiled at her as she went into the control room, where his producer, Larry, sat.

"Hey, baby," he said into the microphone.

"Hey," Elise said. "Hey, guys," she added to his bandmates, Declan on guitar, Jackson on bass, and Chase on drums. They nodded at her. "I didn't mean to interrupt. I just wanted to stop by before I head back to do a shoot."

"Don't worry about it," Roger said. "We need a break anyway." He looked at Larry and spoke into the microphone. "Take lunch?"

"Yeah, sure, Roger, but don't be late coming back," Larry said, "or we'll lose the studio."

"OK, no problem, I won't be late," Roger said. He took off his headphones, set his guitar and harmonica down, left the room, and went over to Elise. "What's up?"

"Well, Mimi, Chris, and Sophia offered to take Dominic for the night, so I thought we could have a night to ourselves?" Elise asked. "And I kind of have a surprise for you."

"Oh?" Roger asked. "What's that?"

"Well, let's grab something to eat, and then I will show you," Elise said, smiling.

"OK," Roger said, smiling back at her.

* * *

With their lunch in hand, Elise went back quickly with Roger to their house. She unlocked the front door and took him, not to the music room, but to a room beside it.

"Mark started this," she said quietly to Roger, "but I finished it. It's what he would have wanted. Close your eyes." Roger did as he was told. "Are they closed?"

"Yes," Roger said.

"Do you promise?"

"I promise."

"OK." She opened the door to the room and walked in with Roger, whose eyes were still closed. She led him into the center of the room and had him stand still there. "OK, open them."

Roger opened his eyes and gasped with surprise.

He was surrounded by photos of Elise and the other Bohemians, including himself and Mark, pasted perfectly onto stand-up cardboard bases and also in collages on tag board around the room.

"Elise..." he said in awe. "When did you do this?"

"Well, Mark started it," Elise said. "That day we were in the park, he was doing a project with me. He was photographing me specifically for you, as a wedding gift. After we cleared his stuff out of the loft, I found a bunch of old photos he had, of you and the other Bohemians, even April... and I decided to finish the project myself. It really helped me deal with him being gone. I... hope looking at these pictures will make it a little easier for you, too."

Roger was speechless. "I don't know what to say," he said quietly, looking down at her, "except... thank you."

"You're welcome," Elise said. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Roger said. He pulled her close and kissed her. "I'm sorry for how I've been. I've been selfish and angry and I took it out on all of you. I wasn't fair to you. Will you marry me again?"

"Don't worry about it." Elise smiled. "Yes. Yes, I will."

"I mean, it's what Mark would have wanted, right, us to get married for real?" Roger asked.

Elise nodded. "Yes, it would have been," she said, wiping away a stray tear from his eye. She had not taken off her engagement ring since she received it, not even when she showed or slept. Now she was going to get a wedding band to take its place.

Roger smiled, kissed her again, and brought up his hand and caressed her cheek.

"But we'd better get you back to the studio, or Larry will have my hide," Elise said softly.

"Nah, he can't possibly," Roger said, in a tone just as soft. "You're too beautiful."

Elise smiled and left the house with him.

_

* * *

_

Two weeks later...

"OK, so do you want to wear high heels?" Maureen asked Elise. She and Joanne had moved back to the city officially and she was going through some wedding preparation with Elise.

"Yes, but no more than two inches," Elise said. "I never wear more than two-inch heels when I'm not on the runway. Stilettos _kill _my back. My agent, Anthony, knows that."

"OK," Maureen said, trying not to laugh, "how about your dress?"

"Form-fitting," Elise said, after thinking for a moment. "No train, since I'm getting married outside and I don't want it to get dirty."

"We are, baby?" Roger asked, his interest caught, even though he himself was busy with Collins and Mr. Davis with his own groom, Best Man, and groomsmen preparations. He was sad that Mark could not be his Best Man, but Collins was more than honored to take his place in Mark's stead.

"Yeah," Elise said, looking hopefully at him. "I was hoping, anyway... Is that OK with you? I just want to be outside."

"I think it's great," Roger said, grinning. "Really, I do. Let's do it. Tompkins Square Park OK with you?"

Elise nodded. "I was going to ask you that," she said.

Roger smiled sadly, knowing what she meant. "I'm honored to be marrying the love of my life there, baby," he said softly to her.

Elise smiled. "Me too," she said.

Maureen then went back to the wedding questions. "So… dress colors," she said, becoming serious again; Elise knew this was only because Maureen wanted everything to be perfect for her wedding.

"What about cerulean blue or cherry blossom? I hate pink, but I can tolerate that..." Elise said. "What about coral? Ugh, that's still a shade of pink. I really like this dark spring green, too. Oh, this deep fuchsia is beautiful, but no shade of purple is OK for a wedding… I like this maya blue, too... I like the idea of no sleeves, too," she added, "not quite as thick as tank. I really like the idea of periwinkle blue with coral."

"If our input matters," Maureen said, "I talked to Mimi and her and I both agree, we like the cherry blossom best. But if you don't like pink, you don't have to wear that color."

"Of course your opinion matters to me, Mo," Elise said. "Cherry blossom pink it is. Our date is September twenty-third, so..."

"Baby, just think of it this way," Roger said encouragingly, "if all else fails, Joanne's dad can marry us in five minutes in jeans. We've already got our rings and marriage license, so..."

Elise considered that for a moment, then she laughed. "Hey, you're right," she said.

"Of course I am," Roger teased her, sticking his tongue out at her. Elise grinned. "If we work hard enough, everything will be ready. It can be done."

Elise nodded. "OK, so Tompkins Square Park it is," she said. "But how would we privatize that?"

"We wouldn't," Roger said, "but that would be part of the fun." He laughed. "You're forgetting that we will have a tent outside, though, so even if it rains, it won't be a problem."

Elise chuckled. "I like it," she said. "I really like it a lot. We could have it be really simple, with just folding chairs for our friends and just a pastor. It would still be beautiful."

Roger nodded. "So Tompkins Square Park, it is," he said. "We will just have to get permission from the city."

"OK, Roger, can you do that?" Elise asked him.

"Sure, baby," Roger said, smiling at her. "I'll give him a call right now."

Roger noticed the daydreaming look on Elise's face, after he got off the phone.

"What's up, baby?" he asked her.

"Hm?" Elise came out of her reverie, blinked several times, then looked at him. "Oh... Sorry. I just got lost in my thoughts for a second."

"Are you OK?" Roger asked her.

"Oh yes," Elise said. "I'm just so happy right now, I could burst."

"Don't," Roger advised her, grinning. "I need my bride."

"And I need my groom," Elise said, leaning up to kiss him.

* * *

September twenty-third, the day of Roger and Elise's official wedding, dawned cool and clear. It would warm up before eleven a.m., the time the wedding was to start, so Elise knew the day would be perfect for hers and Roger's wedding in the park.

She lay quietly in bed for a few minutes, listening to the gently breeze and the birds chirping happily outside. Then she quietly slipped out of bed, careful not to wake Roger, who was snoring softly next to her, and went downstairs to the kitchen. She got herself a glass of water from the tap and sat on the island stool and let her thoughts mesh together and her mind wander.

She didn't notice Roger enter the kitchen. Even though he was dressed only in boxers and his hair was tousled, his eyes were bright and he was awake and already excited for their special day.

"Good morning, baby," he said brightly, going over to kiss her.

"Mm, good morning," Elise said, smiling back at him. "Somebody slept well last night. You didn't even snore. And there were no nightmares."

"As a matter of fact, I did sleep well," Roger said, "finally. You being there with me helped." He smiled. "Then I woke up because this damn robin wouldn't stop singing in my ear. He was so happy. Besides, this is one day in my life I don't want to waste."

Elise smiled. Every day, she could see more and more of the old Roger returning, the real Roger she knew. And every day, she appreciated the old Roger returning more.

"You as well," Elise said. "Would you like me to make some coffee?"

"Oh definitely," Roger said. "I am not yawning through my 'I do'."

Elise laughed. "Good, because I wouldn't want you to, either," she said. "You go clean up. I'll make some coffee."

"Aw, but I want you to join me..." Roger teased, pouting his lip.

Elise grinned. He looked at her seductively and she forgot all about making the coffee and went and joined him in the shower. They made hot love in the hot, steaming shower, then got dressed and got Dominic dressed and prepared for their big day together. They didn't have much longer to wait.

* * *

Collins looked at Elise as he heard her let out a breath next to him. They were in the tent quarters set up in an open area of Tompkins Square Park, about to walk out to the bride's wedding march. Elise was about two minutes away from marrying Roger for real.

"Baby girl, are you OK?" he asked.

Elise looked up at him. "Oh," she said, "yes, I'm all right."

"Are you nervous?" Collins asked.

"No, not really," Elise said. "It's just hard to believe that this day is finally here."

"Tell me about it," Collins said. "I mean, I've known Roger for years. I never imagined he'd get married and settle down, and now he is."

Elise nodded and smiled, although she was nervous. "I'm happy I'm marrying him," she said.

"Good, because it wouldn't be cool if you weren't," Collins said, smiling down at her. "Just take deep breaths." Elise breathed deeply with him, tears sparkling in her eyes.

"How's Roger?" Elise asked him.

"He's nervous as all hell, you know him," Collins said, smiling warmly. "But don't worry, Declan and the boys are keeping him from going ballistic."

"Good," Elise said, smiling.

Then the wedding march began.

"I'm ready, Collins," Elise said to him, her voice strong.

Collins smiled and walked down the aisle with her. Elise saw Roger waiting for her at the altar and all her worries, regrets, and insecurities vanished. She saw only him. She couldn't take her eyes off him as she walked up to him. His gentle voice made her come back to Earth.

"Are you ready?" he asked her.

"Yes," Elise replied.

The ceremony was beautiful. Sophia, who knew Elise best, was Elise's Maid of Honor, while Maureen, Joanne, and Mimi were bridesmaids. Collins was Roger's Best Man, in Mark's stead, and Declan, Jackson, and Chase were groomsmen. Flowers had been spread over the entire ceremony area beforehand, as they had no Flower Girl to perform the duty, and Dominic was the ring bearer. Tourists from all around paused for a moment whenever they walked past to take in a glimpse of the wedding. Elise and Roger exchanged their vows and their rings.

"And now, by the power vested in me, I pronounce you husband and wife," the pastor said. He looked at Roger. "You may kiss the bride."

The Bohemians weren't the only ones who clapped as Roger swung Elise around and leaned her down and kissed her tenderly. All the surrounding tourists were clapping too. Elise beamed as she looked at her friends and family, her heart full to bursting with happiness, finally officially Mrs. Davis.

* * *

_I had to have a happy chapter sometime and I eventually figured out that the wedding would be just that. And as much as I had said Maureen and Joanne weren't going to be a major pairing in this story, they have officially moved back to the city, so we will be seeing more of them. In case you guys are confused by the time lapses, at this point in the story, it is September 23, 1992. I'm trying my best to make the time lapses clear. If you guys are confused, don't be afraid to PM or email me._

_As always, don't forget to review. Thanks for reading. I'll update again in a week._


	11. Claire

I'm updating sonner than expected, but we have had no school since Monday, and I've been dead bored with nothing to do, so I decided to update the final two chapters, chapter 11 and Finale. Katetastic, you'll recognize the doctor's name in this chapter. It's for you!! Happy Reading.

* * *

**Chapter Eleven - Claire**

A couple weeks later, Roger awoke to hearing Elise throwing up in their bathroom. He went over to the adjoining door and knocked.

"Baby, are you OK?" he asked.

"Don't come in, Roger," she said. "I think I'm sick."

Roger frowned. "Baby, you're never sick," he said. "You sound like a damsel in distress."

After she stopped throwing up, Elise got up and went over to the door and opened it.

"I'm a damsel, I'm in distress," she said softly in a sarcastic tone, looking tired. "I can handle this." She smiled loftily. Looking at Roger as she passed him and went into the bedroom, she said, "I'm going to Mo and Jo's for a few days. Chris has Dominic for the weekend, so we don't have to worry there."

"Did I do something wrong, baby?" Roger asked.

"No, of course not," Elise said. "But if I'm really sick, I don't want you catching it and getting sick, sweetie, that's all." She quickly packed some clothes and toiletries into a suitcase, then pointed a threatening finger at him. "Take your AZT while I'm gone, or I will kill you."

Roger laughed, grinned devilishly, growled and snapped his teeth seductively at her, making a barking noise to go with it. "Yes, ma'am," he said. Then he hugged her and watched her leave.

"I miss you already," he called after her, when she had put her suitcase onto the passenger seat of her Porsche and was standing next to her car. "I love you, no matter what."

Elise laughed and smiled. "I love you, too," she said.

* * *

"Baby, I missed you," Roger called to Elise, as she ran up to hug him, upon returning back from Maureen and Joanne's three days later.

"I missed you, too," Elise said, kissing and hugging him. "I have a surprise for you."

"Oh? What?" Roger asked, looking down at her.

"I'm pregnant," Elise said.

"What? No way," Roger said excitedly. "How far along are you?"

"I don't know," Elise said. "Mo got sick of me lying around, not doing anything, so she got me a pregnancy test and I took it and it came back positive. I've got an appointment with Doctor Coxx tomorrow for an ultrasound."

"Baby, that's great," Roger said, beaming and kissing her again. "I can't wait to find out when you're due. Are you excited?"

"Yes, as well as terrified," Elise said. "I mean, if that got through..."

"Baby, don't worry about that right now, OK?" Roger asked. "Until we know more from the doctor, we're just having a baby. I'm gonne be a father! This is great news."

Elise smiled. "You're right," she said, smiling. She looked up at him. "I'm sorry I'm like this. I'm just scared."

"It'll be fine," Roger said, kissing her temple. "I love you, no matter what."

"I love you, too," Elise said, leaning into him.

* * *

"Guys, we have an announcement to make," Elise said, sitting in the center of the living room at her mansion and looking at the Bohemians.

"OK, we're all here. What's up?" Collins, who had arrived first, asked.

"I'm pregnant," Elise said.

Maureen, Mimi, and Joanne squealed excitedly. Collins beamed.

"That's great, Baby girl," he said, hugging her gently. "When are you due?"

"Sometime in May," Elise said. "I would like to have a home birth."

"Really?" Joanne asked, surprised.

"Yes," Elise said, "I mean, I'm the most comfortable here. It makes sense."

Joanne nodded.

"So what are you hoping for?" Mimi asked.

"I don't know," Elise said. "I guess I would like a girl. I mean, so Dominic has a sister."

Maureen smiled. "And you know Roger wants a little girl to wrap around his little pinky," she said.

"Yeah," Elise said. "Besides, we girls have to even out the odds," she said, grinning.

Roger laughed. "I'm sure I'll love whatever we have," he said, pulling Elise close to him and kissing her temple.

* * *

"Sweetie, would you _please _sit down and relax?" Roger asked her, as he and Collins worked on putting the crib together, while Maureen, Joanne, Sophia, and Mimi decorated and painted the nursery, a couple months later.

"Roger, I want to help," Elise whined, placing her hands on her hips.

"Are you ever going to accept the fact that you're pregnant and need to take it easy?" Roger asked her.

Elise scowled. "I'm pregnant, not made of glass," she said. "Besides, my back kills me when I sit for too long, so I prefer to stand." She caressed her five-months-pregnant belly. "I hate how I look right now."

"What are you talking about?" Roger asked her, confused.

"You know what I'm talking about," Elise said. "I'm a model, so since I'm gaining weight, I'm out of work. Anthony understands and he's doing his best to compensate for me in my absence, but still, I want to go back to work already. I _like _my work. And since I'm pregnant, everyone on the street seems to have this undeniable privilege to touch my belly."

"Baby, if you're worried about how you look, which is totally bogus, mind you," Roger said tentatively, smiling at her, "I've had an idea. I've been meaning to ask you, why don't you model maternity clothes?"

"Oh yeah, and get even more 'we-have-to-touch-her-belly-because-she's-pregnant-and-it's-endearing' gestures," Elise said sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

"Baby, you know I think there is nothing more beautiful than a pregnant woman," Roger said quickly, before she could interrupt, "especially if that beautiful woman is my wife." He smiled. "At least give it a try." He went over and wrapped his arms around her from behind and caressed her belly, something she allowed only him to do. He turned her around to face him. "Honestly, honey, I love you, but I think you're being... sensitive."

He winced and ducked, waiting for her to whack him indignantly. But when the blow didn't come, he opened his eyes again and took her hands and looked straight into her eyes. "I love you, size four or size fourteen. So you've gone up a size, maybe two. Who cares? You're my amazing, beautiful wife and I love you. I love my baby, too," he added to her swollen belly.

Elise smiled. "OK, Roger, I give up. I'll talk to Anthony and see what he says. But you're gonna owe me for this," she said.

Roger grinned. "I can't wait," he said.

Elise laughed.

"Feel better now?" Roger asked her.

"Yes," Elise said. "Thank you."

"Of course," Roger said. And he went back to helping Collins assemble the crib.

"I swear, these directions are Swedish," Collins joked. "Thank god I'm gay."

"Collins!" Elise exclaimed, gawking at him.

"I'm just kidding, Baby girl," Collins laughed. "Seriously, though, sweetie, calm down and take it easy. We don't mind helping."

"You're not just helping, you're _doing_— everything!" Elise said guiltily. "I feel bad."

"Don't," Collins said. "It's OK, really. What will it take to assure you it's OK with us?"

"Yeah, we love you, sweetie, seriously," Mimi said, smiling at Elise.

"Thank you," Elise said, although she still sounded annoyed. "I love you, too."

_

* * *

_

_Three months later..._

"Baby, these are great pictures," Roger said, looking up from the "Village Voice" and over at Elise at breakfast.

"You totally have reinvented the idea of maternity clothes."

Elise smiled. "Thank you," she said. "I'm glad you like them."

"Yeah, I am totally gonna cut them out and stick them on our mirror," Roger teased her, grinning.

"Oh, no, you are not!" Elise exclaimed, and she made to grab the magazine from him, but missed. She froze in the middle of her movement and her jaw dropped.

"OK, OK, so I won't—" Roger began.

"Roger, no," Elise said, shaking her head, shock still evident on her face. "My water just broke."

They stared at each other at this startling new development.

"We need to get you upstairs," Roger said. He stood up and held out his hand and helped her stand. "Are you OK to walk?"

Elise nodded. "Yes, I'm not sick," she said.

Roger took a deep breath and nodded and helped her walk upstairs. Roger got Elise situated on their bed and

she was resting comfortably.

"Mommy, are you OK?" Dominic asked, looking confused.

"Yes, sweetie, Mommy's OK," Elise said. "Your little brother or sister is just getting ready to be born." They hadn't asked Doctor Coxx if the baby was a boy or girl, wanting to be surprised.

"Does it hurt?" Dominic asked.

Elise knew there was no point in saying no to that question. She wasn't having contractions yet, but she remembered what they felt like and knew they eventually would become painful. "Yes, sweetie, it does."

"Did it hurt this badly when you had me?" Dominic asked.

Elise laughed. "Yes, sweetie, it did," she said. "But don't worry, it doesn't last."

Dominic nodded. He went into his room and pulled a bean bag chair from there into Elise and Roger's room. He sat down on it and made himself comfortable with some of his toys. Elise smiled, feeling comforted by his and Roger's presence.

* * *

"What are we doing here? Why are we sitting here like this is nothing?" Elise, panicking, asked. Roger, who was sitting next to her, trying to keep her calm. It had been half an hour.

"We're just waiting for Mo and Jo and Mimi and Collins to get here," Roger said calmly, "then they'll be able to help us out. It'll be OK. Your water broke. That's no reason to panic."

"No, you are wrong," Elise said, her voice shaking, her hands on her stomach. "My due date is four weeks away. This baby is not ready to come out yet. Doctor Coxx said, once the water breaks, there's usually no turning back. We need to get to the hospital."

"Doctor Coxx said to call her when your contractions are six minutes apart or so. They aren't there yet. And I don't know what traffic's like right now. Mo didn't answer her cell phone."

Elise sat up sharply and clutched her stomach. "Ow! Oh, my God, contraction!" she exclaimed.

"OK, OK, just breathe," Roger said, "just like we learned in those classes. Breathe." He did a breathing exercise and Elise imitated him. He timed the contraction with his watch.

"OK. OK, it's over... I'm OK," Elise murmured, looking at him.

"See? It's fine," Roger said. "You'll be fine. After all, women have been doing this since the beginning of time, haven't they?"

Elise nodded.

"I'm going to get some blankets from the closet across the hall," Roger said. "I need to keep you warm."

Elise nodded again, and a minute later, Roger returned with a stack of blankets in his hands.

"We should change you into a nightgown," Roger said. "Here, stand up, I'll help you."

Elise let Roger help her stand, but she wouldn't let him help her change; she had too much pride. He helped her back into the bed and she buttoned up the top of her nightgown.

"Hey, buddy," Roger said to Dominic, "wanna help me put these blankets on the bed to keep Mommy warm?"

Dominic nodded, got up from his bean bag chair on the floor, and helped Roger spread the blankets over Elise.

* * *

When Elise's contractions had progressed to six minutes apart, Roger called Doctor Coxx and she arrived twenty minutes later with her medical bag in hand. She helped to get Elise more comfortable and talked to her when her contractions started to get more intense and closer together. Then Maureen, Joanne, Mimi, and Collins arrived.

"Oh, chica, I'm sorry we took so long," Mimi said sympathetically. She went over and sat in a chair next to Elise's bed. She stroked Elise's hair, as Maureen came over and took Elise's other hand (Roger was already holding one.) "How are you doing, sweetie?"

"I feel like I'm dying," Elise cried out, her voice low and strained. Being a second-time mother, her contractions were getting more intense much faster than they had when she'd given birth the first time. She had breathed through all her contractions so far, as hard as that was proving to be, the farther along she progressed, not wanting to give birth until the Bohemians arrived. But now she was fully dilated and ready to push, so there was no way she could postpone it any longer.

"Collins, Maureen, help Elise sit up, please," Doctor Coxx said, as she got out her medical bag and prepared to help Elise give birth.

Collins and Maureen helped Elise sit up straighter and Roger positioned himself behind Elise so she could lie back against him for support.

"OK, Elise, your contractions are less than a minute apart," Doctor Coxx said, "so it won't be long now."

Elise let out an ear-piercing scream as another contraction hit her. "Oh, God," she yelled.

"You're doing well, Elise," Doctor Coxx said, as she positioned herself at Elise's feet. She checked Elise's dilation. "You're fully effaced and dilated. It's time to push. You're already crowning, I see a head of light hair."

"You do?" Elise asked. She started to cry and laugh at the same time.

"What'd you expect, a brunette?" Maureen asked her.

"I'm right here, Baby," Roger whispered to Elise, his mouth against her ear, his breath soft against her skin.

"You're OK, Elise, you're doing great," Doctor Coxx said. "Push, OK?"

"I can't," Elise cried, shaking her head.

"You have to," Doctor Coxx said. "Come on, a big one, big one!"

"You can do it, baby," Roger encouraged Elise.

"I can't," Elise cried again.

"You can, you can. You're gonna be fine," Doctor Coxx assured her. In a firmer voice, she instructed, "Come on! Push!"

Elise did as she was told and pushed. She cried and pushed at the same time, willing hers and Roger's child to be born.

"Here we go, here we go," Doctor Coxx said. "Here's the shoulder... and another shoulder... and an arm... and another arm..." Doctor Coxx reached and helped the child out. "Roger, come here and cut the cord, please."

Collins and Maureen supported Elise while Roger got down off the bed and went over to Doctor Coxx and cut the cord, as the beautiful sound of the baby's cries filled the room. His eyes widened.

"What?" Elise asked, afraid something was wrong.

"Look," Doctor Coxx said, turning so Elise and the others could see the baby.

"Oh," Maureen said, surprised.

"You mean, I got a girl?" Roger asked Doctor Coxx.

"Congratulations. May seven, ten thirty-six a.m.," Doctor Coxx said to Roger, whose face was melting with joy.

Elise started to laugh, her face alive with joy.

"Here you go, Momma," Doctor Coxx said, handing the baby back to Elise. "Congratulations, you two. She's perfectly healthy."

"Hi," Elise crooned to the baby, "hi, little girl. How're you doing?" She looked up at Roger. "Look what we did."

"I see," Roger said, laughing and smiling. "You did great, baby."

"It's a miracle," Collins said, through his tears.

"A little miracle," Maureen said, also crying.

"She's so beautiful," Elise said softly. "Our little Claire."

"Claire?" Roger asked Elise, surprised.

"Is that OK?" Elise asked him, looking up at him. "I'm sorry, I should have talked with you about names, but I've been stuck on Claire since I was a teenager."

"Well, why don't you ask her?" Roger asked, referring to the newborn. He looked down at his newborn daughter and smiled. "What do you think, little one? Are you Claire?" The newborn sneezed. Roger laughed. "That's good enough for me. She's Claire."

"Claire Marceline," Elise said. "It's a female French variation of Mark."

Tears welled up in Roger's and the Bohemians' eyes at the tribute to Mark. No one said a word; there was no need to.

"It's a beautiful name, honey," Roger said. "I love it."

Elise smiled and looked down at the child in her arms that had already stopped crying. "You are safe and you are loved," she said quietly to Claire. She looked up at Roger, who leaned down and kissed her.

"I love you," Roger said to her.

"I love you, too," Elise said, looking up at him.

"And I love you, too, my little Claire," Roger said, gently kissing his newborn daughter's silky hair.

_

* * *

_

I realize Claire's birth was rather quick for a second-time mom, and I'm afraid I rushed it, but I didn't want to drag it out. I did my best to try and make it seem like it wasn't unrealistically short, but I did read a story about a second-time mom who gave birth in less than twenty minutes after her water broke and the father barely arrived in time to witness the birth, LOL. So there ya have it. Claire is finally here. Welcome, Claire!

That is the part I've been looking forward to all along, after writing Mark's death, and my awesome beta and Renthead partner-in-crime, katetastic, knows it, haha. And do you guys think Roger would be calm or freaking out during the birth of his own daughter? Let me know what you guys think.

_The only other thing is, just on a side note, although I haven't been able to find any pronunciation guides, I pronounce Marceline Mar-suh-LEEN, just to clarify. And Claire is spelled that way after Claude Debussy's "Claire de Lune", one of my all-time favorite pieces to play on the piano (although it's a little tough, I still love it; it's French for "moonlight", and "Moonlight Sonata" is the name of chapter 3; concidence? LOL.) And I've liked Debussy and loved "Claire de Lune" since LONG before Twilight, because I've been playing piano for 13 years, so ha! Take that, Twilighters! Just kidding, LOL._

_Reviews are good, so please go leave one for me, to tell me what you thought. Thank you. Next to be updated will be the epilogue, called the Finale. Thank you all so much for sticking with me while I wrote this. Much appreciated!_


	12. Finale

I decided to call this chapter "Finale", because it sounds better and more Rent-ish than "Epilogue". I don't own the lyrics to "Passing Afternoon", Iron & Wine does. But the two verses I put down fit extremely well with the chapter, so I'm renting them. Happy Reading.

* * *

**Chapter Twelve - Finale**

_There are times that walk from you like some passing afternoon  
Summer warmed the open window of her honeymoon  
And she chose a yard to burn but the ground remembers her  
Wooden spoons, her children stir her Bougainvillea blooms_

_There are things that drift away like our endless, numbered days  
Autumn blew the quilt right off the perfect bed she made  
And she's chosen to believe in the hymns her mother sings  
Sunday pulls its children from their piles of fallen leaves_

"Passing Afternoon", Iron & Wine

_Five years later..._

Elise leaned back against Roger, beneath the shade of the cottonwood tree, as they watched five-year-old Claire push two-year-old Collin Cohen Davis in the baby swing, as nine-year-old Dominic climbed around on the playground equipment in Tompkins Square Park. Feeling the warmth flow from Roger's body to hers, she felt happier than she had in years. She was married to the love of her life, with three beautiful children, they were both employed (Roger worked days at the Moondance Diner and played now every other weekend at CBGB's), and everyone was healthy, especially Roger. They both had been blessed twice as well; neither Claire nor Collin was positive.

Mimi had been clean and healthy for nearly six years. Collins was seeing Elise's friend, Charlie, a young, beautiful, kind actor and vocalist who also had HIV. He was attending the Julliard School for Dance, Music, and Drama, as a vocal and piano performance major, and their relationship blossomed more every day.

Maureen and Joanne had succeeded in having a family by adoption and through a sperm donor. Maureen was attending NYU, in pursuit of the same degree as Charlie; they often had classes together. Joanne had got a raise and owned a third of her law firm, so they were living in a penthouse suite on Avenue A. Jonathan Montgomery was three, and had Maureen's fiery spirit and temper. Mimi Jefferson, MJ, Johnson was a year old and reserved and serious like Joanne.

"Claire Marceline, don't push your brother too high!" Elise called after her daughter.

"OK, Mommy," Claire called back.

"She's fine, baby," Roger said, chuckling and stroking Elise's sun-warmed hair.

"I know," Elise said.

Claire reached up and grabbed Collin's swing. Her feet skidded across the gravel as she brought the swing to a stop. Collin got off the swing, then Clair took her brother's hand and ran over with him to her mother.

"Mommy, we wanna play tag," Claire said. "Can you be 'it' first?"

"Does this require me to get up?" Elise joked, smiling. She felt extremely relaxed and comfortable, lying there with Roger.

Claire giggled. "Yes, Mommy, it does," she laughed. She held out her hands. "If you're stuck, I'll help you."

"That's OK, Claire Bear," Elise said, "I think Daddy can help me."

Elise rocked forward and Roger pushed her up off him. He stood up, too, and stretched. Then he looked at Claire and Collin.

"Mommy's 'it', run!" he said.

Quick as a flash, Roger boosted Collin onto his back and took off running, Collin clinging to him and Claire screaming with delight.

Elise laughed and chased after her family. She played tag until she couldn't run anymore, then they had Dominic join them for ring-around-the-rosy, duck-duck-goose, statues, and red-light-green-light. Collin then insisted on playing a few rounds of hide-and-seek.

Finally, at three p.m., Elise called all playing to a halt.

"Sorry, guys, but Dom, we need to get you to your piano lesson," she said. "Claire Bear, you have dance. And Collin, it's time for you to go down for your nap. Don't look at me like that," she added, "I saw you yawning."

"No!" Collin objected.

"Now, now, none of that," Elise said. "Come on, I'll read you a story."

"Which one?" Collin asked her, narrowing one eye and raising his other eyebrow in a very Roger-like gesture at her as they walked to the Subaru. Once they had had kids, Roger and Elise had had to upgrade and get a bigger car, as Elise's Porsche wouldn't fit the two of them and three kids in it.

"How about 'The Little Engine That Could' or 'Peter Rabbit'?" Elise asked.

"'Peter Rabbit'," Collin said.

"'Peter Rabbit', it is, then," Elise said.

* * *

A little while later, Elise was curled up in her big Ottoman chair, reading a book, when Roger came up to her.

"Baby, will you do something with me? I need you to come with me and go somewhere."

Elise looked up at him. "Sure, Roger, where?" she asked.

But Roger shook his head and wouldn't say. Elise, confused, let it drop and went back to her book.

* * *

"Where are we going, Roger?" Elise asked, giving him a confused look as he took her hand and pulled her out of the car.

"Just trust me," Roger said.

Elise looked around, then realized where they were: a cemetery.

"Roger, what's this about?" she asked him. She followed Roger, who was still silent, to a gravestone.

It read:

Mark Anthony Cohen  
1968-1992  
Dedicated friend, filmmaker, peacemaker  
Forever in our Hearts

Elise looked sadly at Roger. She didn't know what to say.

"It's OK," Roger said softly to her, "I'm not gonna... freak out or anything. I just wanted to see him... tell him what's been going on since he died. And I wanted you to be with me when I did that. Is that OK?"

"Of course it is," Elise said, nodding. "Why wouldn't it be OK?"

"I don't know." Roger nodded and sank to his knees on the soft grass. He looked heavenward for a moment, took a deep breath, then, feeling slightly foolish, began to speak.

"Hey, Mark..." he began. "It's Roger. Um... I guess I just came here today to tell you what's been going on. Things were really hard after you died. I didn't know how to function without you. I debated giving up at one point, but I realized you wouldn't want me to, so I didn't. But I was a mess for a long time. If Elise and the others hadn't been there for me, I might not have made it." His voice choked up. "It's been hard to live without you. We've known each other for so long, then suddenly you were gone and I didn't know what to do."

Roger suddenly broke down and cried. Elise held him tightly for support, letting him grieve his loss and calm down. His tears and sobs quieted after a few moments, and he looked at her.

"Things have changed a lot," he went on. "Elise and I got married and we now have three beautiful, amazing kids, Dominic Christopher Messer, Claire Marceline Davis, and Collin Cohen Davis. Dominic is nine, Claire is five, and Collin is two now. You would adore them if you were here to see them. They are little images of us." He smiled. "Mo and Jo have been able to have a family, too, through adoption and a sperm donor. Jonathan Montgomery is three and MJ, Mimi Jefferson Johnson, is a year old. Jonathan has Maureen's fiery spirit and temper, MJ is reserved and serious, like Joanne. Can you imagine Maureen with kids? She's amazing, a better mother than I thought she'd be, Joanne, too. Maureen and Elise helped me the most after you died. Without them, I might not have made it.

"Um..." Roger paused, unsure as to what to say. "I still really miss you. It's been hard without you. But I'm healthy and Collins and Mimi are healthy and none of our kids are positive, for which we feel very blessed. I've been writing a lot of songs and I've continued playing gigs at CBGB's, as well as working at the Moondance Diner to make money. I don't need to, with as much money as Elise has, but as a husband and a father, I need to contribute, so... I figured you'd be proud of me for that.

"But over the past few years, I've come to realize that still being alive here and having a beautiful wife and kids and amazing friends truly is a gift, a gift I need to cherish," Roger went on, looking at Elise with soft, tired eyes, "since I myself don't know when I am due to leave this Earth. So I am, and that makes it easier that you're gone. We'll miss you forever, but it isn't so hard anymore. I've accepted everything that's happened by truly living in the present and cherishing the life everyone else and I have, no matter how long or short that may be. And I also take into account the Serenity Prayer and I've accepted the things I cannot change and changed the things I could. I don't hate the fall anymore."

Roger bent down and placed a piece of paper on the ground, putting a rock on top of it before it blew away. It was lyrics, a song Roger had written for Mark after he'd died. He hadn't shown the lyrics to anyone yet, but plans were in the works to create a single out of the lyrics, since Roger had long ago come up with the melody. He had another copy of the lyrics at home in his desk.

Elise smiled at Roger and kissed his cheek. Roger traced the letters of Mark's name with his finger, then stood up. He shivered involuntarily as the breeze blew around him and and ruffled his hair. It almost felt like Mark's spirit was there with them, wrapping around them gently and healing them.

"We should go... if you're ready," Elise said quietly.

Roger nodded. "I have to go now," he said. "But always remember that we all love and miss you so much. It comforts me, though, that we won't be parted forever. I'll see you around."

Roger swallowed, then turned and left the cemetery, Elise holding him close to her. They walked out of the cemetery and got into the car and went back to their family and the life they now lived.

* * *

_This is the end of De Pelle Sorte. I hope you guys liked it. I've enjoyed writing it more than all my previous stories of any category, because being able to write it all before posting and not having the pressure to force anything just to update to prevent readers from waiting so long, has made writing it so much easier and the inspiration has flowed so much better. I've learned my lesson about posting before I had the entire thing written and it worked. As to this chapter, of course Mark's middle name is Anthony, after Anthony Rapp. And of course, Colin Cohen Davis is after Collins and Mark. Who else, right? I used "Passing Afternoon" by Iron & Wine as the lyrics to the song Roger wrote for Mark, in case any of you didn't catch that.  
_

_I'm not planning on writing a sequel to this story, as I think I wrapped everything up pretty nicely and can leave anything that has been left open to the imagination of you readers. If I were to continue writing this story or write a sequel, more than likely Collins would die, because I cannot bear to kill off Roger. It's just too hard. Even writing Collins' death is hard. And you guys don't want that, do you? I don't. So there isn't really a need for a sequel that I can see. If you guys DO want a sequel and have ideas, though, leave them in a review and I will consider it. :) No promises about what will happen in it or when it will be posted, though._

_I'm not sure how much writing I'll be doing in the future, with my summer job hanging over my head and college keeping me busy. I may also be living on my own for the first time with no Internet access. We'll see what happens. I know, I know, famous last words... XD LOL. I am possibly starting to take requests. There is more information about that on my profile._

_Thanks for sticking with me while I wrote and posted this, while dealing and being involved with school. As always, don't forget to review. I love feedback. You guys are great, especially my beta and Renthead partner-in-crime, katetastic. You rock, chica. Thanks for everything you've done to help me along the way, story or otherwise. This story is for you!! Thanks also to chocolateluvr and Misto4Ever, and new reviewers, MissObsessive, NYYbabe11, heytheremeranda, lotrelves, __and Psycho-Bunny1309 for also reviewing. You guys are awesome!!_

_One last thing, I've got a new poll up. I don't put polls up very often, so if you haven't already voted, please go vote!! Thank you kindly!!_

_Renthead07_


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